A Love Like This

Chapter Four

I tried to forget the fact of Fred's almost instant turn off when I hinted of feelings during our conversation at lunch. I was overthinking. Seriously overthinking. As always.

"Hey, you okay?" Hermione asked, noticing my vacant stare across the room. We're in the middle of a Transfiguration lesson and she's seated next to me in the front of the classroom.

"Yeah, I'm just- yeah," I softly sighed. "I just overthink things a lot. I'm fine."

"Oh, I understand that," Hermione gave me a sympathetic look. "I also have seen that look before. It's Fred isn't it?"

My heart jumped at his name.

"We probably shouldn't be talking about this in class," I whispered.

"You're right. We have a free period next. Meet me after?"

"Where?"

"Well, outside of course. We'll go to the dormitory."

Class seemed to drone on for ages. In fact I honestly wanted it to. I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with Hermione yet but we're meant to talk of a rather personal subject.

The dismissal bell rang out and Hermione mentioned something to Ginny. I waited for her outside of the classroom. She soon met with me and we walked to the girls' dormitory and sat on our beds to talk.

I gulped. Nervous already.

Hermione sighed softly and set her folded hands on her lap. "So, what's up? You're obviously bothered."

"Feelings?" I laughed softly, trying to lighten the mood. But an overwhelming feeling of insecurity and sadness washed over me for some reason. "I don't know what's going on."

"Just- vent everything to me. All of the feelings. Don't change it to make sure I understand, we'll piece it together at the end."

"He's making me feel in a way I've never felt before and it's scary, and I don't know what's going on but I feel like I always want to be around him? I feel safe around him? But- it's nothing. I'm some strange girl from a small town near London who ran away from home because of abuse and I guess..." A light flicked on. "That's it. That's what it is."

Hermione looked blank. She was obviously completely and utterly confused. "Okay, I know you're expecting me to understand what just happened, but you're going to have to translate all of that into English for me."

"My home life... it-" I took a deep breath instead of letting the tears get their way. "I didn't-" It was a fight. But finally, through some miracle, Hermione caught on and finished the torturing sentence for me.

"He's your first glimpse of someone actually caring for you isn't he?"

"Yeah... and it's got my head spinning," I scoffed. "But- it's stupid. It's a stupid little crush and I should have known it was too far of a stretch."

"What- why are you giving up so easy?" She frowned. "Did something happen? Last I knew he was all over you."

"We were talking at lunch. I hinted at having feelings and he kind of just- shut down. He didn't talk much after that. Only what really needed to be said. It's like he put up a front."

"Strange," She looked puzzled. "I'm not sure. I could ask Ginny and we could-"

"No," I waved her off. "Don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal."

"Your eyes are saying otherwise," Hermione got up and sat next to me, she rubbed my back soothingly as she saw my tears. "I know all of this is a lot. And it's probably very overwhelming."