Wait Please

chapter four

I wake up with a start.

"No stop!" I hear Hardin shout. I lay back down of the floor covered in thick blankets and run my hand through my hair. I won't be able to get to sleep with him screaming. Apart of me debates whether to through a pillow at him, in hope to make him quiet, but I decide against it. I get up and waddle over to the edge of his bed where he's sleeping. Turning on the lamp, I can see him dripping in sweat as he frustratingly tosses and turns.

"Hardin, wake up! You okay, your safe!" I gently shake his shoulder. Causing his eyes to dart open. "Shhh you okay. You're safe. We're safe!" He looks at me dead it the eye and quickly wraps his arms around my tiny frame.

"I am sorry for leaving you back home with mum" He begins to stutter. "I think about you and mum everyday and always wonder when I will next see you. I shouldn't of left...."

"Oh shut up!" I say making him jump a little. "Look at you! You have friends" I can see him roll his eyes. "Anyway I haven't even explained what's happened to mum." I feel him stiffen slightly.

"What's happened?" He asks.

"What's the time?" I ask quickly changing the subject.

"Tell what happened!" He demands raising his voice.

"Mums in hospital..." I say avoiding eye contact, and looking everywhere else in the room but at him.

"Umm" Hardin states softening his tone not taking his eyes of me.

"She's got" I feel the air around me become thick and unpleasant. I am struggling to breathe. The room around me becomes tight. I feel tears threaten my eyes. I can't move, I am trapped. Hardin's words become muffled.  I feel my throat get tight and my mounts become as dry as sawdust. Until he grabs my hand and pulls me out of his room. He practically drags me down the stairs. The air becoming tighter and tighter. Hardin pulls me through the open plan kitchen living room space; people are asleep over the sofas and chairs. There are cups and bottles scattered over the floor. There is a pungent smell of weed. He pulls me towards the backdoors and forcefully pushes one open. His hand strongly gripping on to mine, making sure I am okay.

The cold morning air is comforting, although the chill sends shivers up my spine, the air its pleasant. You can hear birds chirping in a near tree signalling it's early morning. The sky is dimly lit by the slow rising sun.

"You okay?" Hardin says pulling me in for a hug. It's only then do I realise my face is damp. I nod, carefully hugging him back.

"Mum's in hospital because she has cancer" I mumble into his chest. I pull away and look at him.

"I know" he says.

"What? How?" I ask slightly pissed off.

"She called me as soon as she found out"

"Are you taking the piss! I took a flight with the money I have been saving for years to come out here and tell you something you already know! When I could be at home spending my gap year with my friends! No but I was decent enough to fly out here and tell you! Raaa am I really that fucked up?" I feel myself raise my voice to the point where I am almost shouting.

"Well it weren't my decision for you to fly out here!" He shouts back. "Why don't you just go back home then? You seem much happier with Hannah and your little boyfriend Luke! Just fuck off already"

"Fine maybe I will! If you were a good enough brother you would know me and Luke haven't been a thing for the last two years! But. Wait. You're a shit brother, Hannah's brothers are more brothers to me than you'll ever be. They were there when I was shanked and laying practically dead on the pavement. But where were you? Away in America fucking every girl you saw - not giving a shit about me or mum!" I shout. "I'll book the next flight home but don't call me or talk to me again!" I turn around and walk towards the back door to go inside.

"Since when where you shanked?!" He shouts as if questioning what I had just said. Without a second thought I lift up my top to reveal the gash that ran from my belly button that stoped just under my rib cage on my right side.

"Don't try and make it up to me. Alfie fucked him up anyway" I says and turn on my heels towards the house; leaving Hardin slightly shocked.

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I walk up to the room and start putting my stuff in my bag. I was wearing one of his many black t-shirts along with a pair of his old tracksuit bottoms that where to small for him. I grab my ring and necklace of the side table. Knocking of a book. Emily Brontë 'Wuthering Heights' the book cover read. Hardin, as a child, always read books - I didn't expect him to read living in a frat houses; mind you I wouldn't expect him to be living in the frat house. I pick up the book and put it back on the table.

"Just stay for a few days" I look over to see Hardin standing in the doorway. I look him up and down. He's wearing grey joggers and he has tattooed skin looks effective but cold. I turn back and carry on putting my stuff in my bag. "Dad lives in this big house now, with his new wife"

"Why in the fucking world would I give a shit about Ken!" I refer to him as Ken as he was never my father. Memories flood my mind of him being a drunk mess.

"Just thought I would let you know" he mumbles

"So what's the deal with you and Tessa?" I look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing, she a neek anyway" he replies running his hand through his hair.

"Is it. I've seen the way you look at her" I say with a smirk on my face.

"I have only just meet her for fucks sake" he raises his voice slightly indicating he is pissed at me.

"But you have already made a bet to take her virginity?" I say in fake disbelief. I push past him and walk down the stairs leaving the bag in his room. Surely I should stay out here I mean it could be calm - I guess. I would need a job and join WCU.