We Didn't Make It After All

Epilogue

I am going back to the place where it all began. For the first time in eternity, I am engulfed by the endless blue of the horizon. Around me, day is just falling, illuminating the expressway with the pacifying light of morning. I unroll my windows, taking in the crisp early summer breeze. The sensation is nostalgic, like I am on a motorcycle instead of an encased Sedan. My navigator advises me to take the next exit and when I do, I am there; I am back in the place where it all began.

I have only visited this place in stories—this worn out diner in the heart of Fort Montgomery where Sol and Micah fell in love for the first time, before he had left us for his final adventure. Now I am here and when I close my eyes, I can envision it all. I can envision Ezra.

"Holy shit," a familiar voice breathes. He staggers as if I am a ghost. "Look who it is."

I look up and I see Teo. He has matured significantly since the last time I saw him. He looks better now than he ever has, at twenty six. I pull him into a hug, one that unbinds all of my nostalgia for him to hold. "Fuck, I've missed you," I say, holding back the tears already threatening to fall from my eyes.

"I've missed you too," he says. He holds me firmly, hesitating before pulling away. "Everyone's already inside. We were waiting for you."

"How is everyone?"

"Bella's engaged."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She's happy; I'm happy."

"I guess we're all in a better place now, aren't we?"

"We really are," he says. With that, he leads me inside. The place is everything I imagined it would be. It is that and more.

I savor the soft melody emerging from the jukebox as Teo navigates our way across the quaint vicinity. The place is so empty that I wonder if the universe has reserved it for just the five of us today. It is then that I see her—Bella—and I suddenly feel such a torrent of emotions that I begin to cry. She looks so beautiful in her orange sundress. In that moment, we are still seventeen and have yet to experience the adversities life has to offer.  We are still foolish; we are still naïve; we are still daydreaming about Ezra Parker with nothing but our hearts on our sleeves.

As she turns around, I cannot help but recount every single one of our memories, starting from our very first day in the highway to our evenings by the Hudson, with only Micah and Sol's makeout sessions to entertain us. There is a soft melancholy that accompanies the memories because I know I can never relive them. They are infinitely gone. I rely on my heart to hold their permanence.

She screams the moment she sees me, running towards me for an overdue embrace. We are suddenly laughing and crying and when we draw apart, we are twenty six and blue again.

"Just when were you going to tell me you're engaged, Bella Henry?"

She wipes her watery eyes with her index finger, biting her lip. "I wanted to surprise you."

"Oh my god," I say, taking in her glistening engagement ring.

"It's beautiful, right? Anderson picked it."

"How did he do it? How did he propose?"

She blushes. She has the eyes I had at seventeen, when I had yet to grow so cynical about love. I hope she never does.

"So we're both out grocery shopping, right?" she begins. "And I'm complaining like a madwoman because things have been really shitty at work. And we're by the checkout line and he tells me very secretively that he knows something that can make me feel better. I tell him nothing can make me feel better. And that's when he does it. He goes on one knee and asks me to marry him and I drop my fucking egg carton because I'm so shocked."