{Miss Perfect} RPRealPlay x JusticeLochi

Four~

Last week until summer. Exams were coming up, meaning less sleep for me, and the little bit of sleep I had was filled with dreams about her. I was so tired I had to drink a couple coffees and energy drinks a day, which wasn't really ideal for my health, but what could I do.

It was the last day before exams. I was studying really hard knowing I had to pass.

I remembered the time when I was still going to a psychologist. I went to a couple different ones, but none could help me. All they said was to try and get my mind off of it. Well that advice is just great, isn't it? You would think they knew I tried so hard, but no. So much for getting help. It hurts me even more remembering this, knowing not even the best of the best can help me with this. Well what else can I do?

I sighed and tried focusing on what I was going to wear to the exams. We don't have uniforms here so as long as it wasn't anything disturbing it was fine. I didn't wear short sleeved shirts, half-shirts or crop-tops for... reasons.

Thinking about this, I got up and walked to the mirror. I rolled up my t-shirt along with the sleeves. Staring at myself I felt unsatisfied. There was not enough.

<WARNING! SELF-HARM!>

My arms were covered with cuts saying 'I LOVE YOU EMI~' 'RP~', RP + Li in a heart and many other, similar ones.

I got a brilliant idea. I had a knife in my bathroom specifically for this.

I took the knife and decided to start slow today, to enjoy the pain for longer. I smiled at myself in the mirror and made a cut. Not very deep, I was just starting. After a couple more shallow cuts on both my arms I started to push onto the knife more, leaving deeper and more visible cuts. The pain was pleasure.

It was time. I rinsed the knife in the sink so blood wouldn't get in the way. I picked up the knife and placed it on my stomach. I made a cut down. The 'artwork' as I called it has been started. Now there was no way back and I was going to finish it. I ran the knife slowly in a curve to make the 'R' and after that I 'drew' the 'P'. After that went the line '~'. To finish it all off, I cut a heart around the letters.

"Perfect." I told the mirror and laughed like a sick person.

I bandaged up my arms and torso, cleaned the knife, hid my items of interest and walked out of the bathroom like nothing happened.

<END OF SELF-HARM>

The day continued on normally. I had dinner, I gave Sakura dinner, we played together a little and after that I found myself behind my desk again, for the millionth time this week. I went over as much stuff as possible, making sure I knew everything the best I could in order to pass. Biology, mathematics, geoghaphy, history, english...

The was too much to go over and I was starting to feel really tired. I took one last look at my desk and decided to call it a day, wishing myself good luck. I went into the shower, rinsing myself quickly, changing my bandages afterwards. I noticed I was starting to run short on them so as so soon as I got to my room I made a reminder to go shopping for medical suplies.

As I was checking my phone I noticed that I had gotten a message from Cliff. She was wishing me good luck, because she knew were well how stressed I could become. This made my heart melt and calm me down a little more. I fell asleep knowing somebody cared.

*****

The next day was one big chaos. I woke up later than intended which meant I had to hurry up. I quickly ate some joghurt and grabbed orange juice from the fridge. Making my way to the bathroom I threw some water on my face, washed my teeth and brushed my hair that was ending above my shoulders. I liked it this way, the haircut was convinient for obvious purposes.

*****

Throwing myself on the seat in the metro I was breathing heavily, partly because I had to run and partly due to how nervous I was because of the exams. I repeated as much stuff as I could in my head, trying not to shake because the stares they would give me would make me even more nervous. I walked over to the exam room and waited with the others. Kris was of course there and he started bothering me again. This time I was actually happy for his rambling because it took my mind off of the exams, and what would happen if I failed.

Soon enough, they called us in. I sat down on the place I was assigned and waited for instructions. They were quiet fora while and just stared at us which certainly didn't help. After what seemed like hours but in reality was only a couple of seconds they told us to take out our pens and we obeyed.

Somebody didn't have a pen but I had one extra so I decided to be nice for once and let them borrow it. They quitly thanked me and told me they would return it after the exam which I agreed to. After that they turned around to face the teachers and stopped paying attention to me, which was ideal because one of teh teachers started speaking. He repeated the rules incase anyone forget and instructed us on how this whole thing will go. I payed close attention so I wouldn't miss anything. Once all that was said, he looked over us all with a cold stare, wishing us good luck. The exam papers were handed out by the other teacher and we were allowed to start.

— — — — —

I am d e a d. It is 1:15 am
rn and I want to die.

I don't know what else to say
than 'hope you enjoyed~'
because my brain is too
tired to think of anything
else.

Hope this chapter wasn't too boring,
I just need to fill out some spots
'till we get to the good stuff. ;D

Don't worry, I have have plenty in store for Li & Rp~

To you Aish, if you don't like it
I'm yeeting you out of the window
for real because I'm dead.

And- *yawns* good night/morning/whatever :'D