my brothers girlfriend

dance

THREE - LISA

*three weeks later*

I have got it bad for my brother's girlfriend. 

I know this makes me an awful person, but she's just so... perfect. I didn't even really know yet, and still, I couldn't help but obsess over her any moment I was left alone with my thoughts. She had been constantly plaguing my mind and it was becoming tiring. 

My nights in bed now consisted of tracking and analysing every scrap of content I could find out about her online. Her Instagram feed, her Twitter profile, her likes, her following list. I just had to know everything about her. It comforted me that there was no trace of Kai on her pages yet, apart from them following each other. I was spiralling down a dangerous path. 

I was partially grateful I hadn't seen her again since she first came over. Of course I wanted to see her, I just knew I shouldn't.

There was no way I could be friends with her. I knew that. It wasn't fair on Kai, Jennie, or even myself. On the other hand, I had already all but invited her to my next dance show, so it would be rude of me to flake on that promise.

That was the excuse I gave myself as I typed out the text.

me- hey, if you're still interested, my next dance performance is tomorrow night.

It took a lot of self-control to not invite her until the night before, but it also meant a higher chance that she wouldn't come, which isn't what I want, but I'm trying keep myself from crossing a line. The text is more formal than friendly. I briefly consider rewriting it before pressing send. 

As I wait for a response, I find myself biting my nails. Something I did out of nervousness when I was a kid. Thankfully, I'm not waiting long.

jennie- i would love to come! could you send me the details?

It was no big deal, really. She was just coming to see me dance, as a friend. I didn't have bad intentions, at least not any that would make it out of my brain, yet I still felt like I was doing something I shouldn't be. 

It doesn't serve me to dwell on it since I couldn't take it back. It was happening, whether it should or not. And it would only happen once, then I would distance myself from my brother's girlfriend as much as possible. This crush had to end here, even if it meant I had to act cold to Jennie to diminish the potential friendship we had brewing.

I know Kai asked me to be friends with Jennie, but I didn't doubt that he would feel differently if he knew the truth. Besides, being friends with her would torture me more, and I am by no means a masochist. 

To take my mind off someone I had no business thinking about, I turn my music loud and lose myself in it, practising the very routine I would be performing for Jennie in less than 24 hours. The one that would be the starting point in changing everything.

+

Among the bustles and busyness of the changing room the following evening, it's a lot easier to not fixate on Jennie and focus more on the performance I was about to give. I was a perfectionist and it was almost showtime.

This particular performance was a group performance, as they often were, and we weren't the only group performing. There were ten-minute intervals in between each performance and I had told Jennie to come at the time just before my performance so she wouldn't have to sit through all of them by herself. 

Not long before we're called to the stage, I receive a message from Jennie telling me she's here. I text back directions of where to go and tell her I saved her a seat in the front row. We're called to the curtain and that's when it dawns on me that I'm about to be dancing for Jennie, and, in my mind, Jennie only.

The curtains open to a stage with dimmed lights. I find my eyes search for her instantly, but it's too dark to make out faces just yet. 

I step forward into position along with my girls and that's when I spot her, but I still can't see her face clearly. I look away because I remember she can see mine, averting my eyes to the ground just as the music starts. 

I thought it would have been different but I manage to lose myself in the music just as I usually do. Jennie's watching me. In the back of my mind, I know she's watching me. But I'm also good at what I do, and I was going to give her a show. 

Lucky for her this performance was a little more mature than the ones you might see at a school performance, as all the girls were above 18.

The music picks up and as per the routine, I move to the front of the stage, my eyes finally meeting Jennie's as I flash her a grin before spreading my legs and slowly lowering to the floor, maintaining eye contact with my audience the entire time. 

With my palms flat on the stage and my legs spread lewdly, I push myself back up, ass first, just for her. As if this was a private dance and it wasn't my brother's girlfriend in the audience. Because, in that moment, she wasn't my brother's girlfriend. In that moment, Kai didn't even exist.

Unfortunately, the performance is relatively short and soon it's at its end. The lights go back on and Jennie isn't in my clear line of sight anymore but she's still looking at me. And I'm still looking at her.

The sudden erupt of clapping breaks her first but I'm still studying her. She half laughs before she joins in with the clapping and doesn't look at me again.

We take a bow and I leave the stage, eager to get to Jennie, whilst her reaction was still fresh in both of our minds, because that was definitely something.

I don't bother changing, just make a beeline to catch Jennie as she leaves the main hall with everyone else. I don't spot her at first and fear I'm too late but she emerges out of the room with the last few people.

She's startled when I grab her arm and pull her to the side, but she recovers quickly. I don't even realise how out of breath I am until I try to talk.

"Hey," I inhale deeply and she smiles. 

"Hi." 

I smile back. "So..."

"It was..." she trails off and I tilt my head. "I thought you were great."

"Really?"

"Of course. You're very talented."

"So, you liked the performance?"

"Yes. It was very sexy," she says and I'm surprised at her brashness.

"You thought I was sexy?" I grin playfully and her cheeks turn pink but she says nothing. I laugh at her silence. "Don't worry. I won't tell Kai," I tease and her cheeks turn a darker colour still.

"Whatever," she rolls her eyes in amusement and turns her head away.

I'm about to press for more when a voice calls my name.

"Lisa!" Both of our attention turned to Rosie, my best friend. "Are you coming?"

"Not tonight," I call back. Although it was usual for me, I didn't feel like going out right now. I'd rather stay with Jennie and see what happened there. Rosie just shrugs and disappears into the hall.

I turn my attention back to Jennie. "Come on." I walk ahead of her to the changing room to get my things, deciding to change at home.

We leave the studio together, the cool air whipping against my bare skin but I barely feel it and Jennie's car warms me up further.

It's quiet as Jennie drives me home. Her eyes locked on the road but her mind deep in thought. I don't say anything and let her mull in her thoughts, more because I had a strong suspicion she was thinking about me.

The idea of Jennie liking me back suddenly didn't seem so far-fetched.

It doesn't occur to me then how dangerous that would be.