An Untold Story- The desperate search for America.

Chapter 11: Nightmares and Breakdowns

Alfred woke up panting, his skin burning as the last bits of the dream follow. He tears the blanket off of his body and just huddles in his bed. He is shaking more than he has in years, seemingly bothered with what's happening. 

The other thing grabs at him, begging to be let in. Begging to comfort him, make him happy again. But he desperately pushed it away and the cloud of emotionless descends down on him. Laying on his shoulders like a weighted blanket.

He wondered briefly would it would be like if he let the other in, open himself up to the new feeling. But, he was hesitant, extremely hesitant. It would change everything and he doesn't respond well to change, he had only left the woman's house for a few years before he was dragged through the forest kicking and screams, his small malnourished limps doing nothing as he was dragged and burned at the stake.  

Alfred got out of bed, entered the bathroom, and stared at himself in the mirror. He looked terrible, his eyes were dull, almost grey in their look. He remembered when they were a vibrant blue, and they had deep bags. He just looked bad, that's why he avoids mirrors most days.

His brain started to race a bit, so much has changed and yet here he is. Why did everything have to change? He decided he hates change, why couldn't he just be in that stupid closet again where nothing was expected of him?

Alfred looks down at his hands where the granite counter was cracked, his hands were cut and there was a bit of blood. He watched as his hands slowly healed, sealed up as if it had never happened. He didn't think anything of it, he just watched blankly.  He stared at himself for a moment, he was so blank. So empty, he was almost scared of himself. Why was this affecting him so much? He decided he will not allow it to enter as much as possible. It was too dangerous.

Alfred stared longer, looking deeply into the mirror as memories upon memories came. He lost focus of the world as he relieved a few memories he rather forget, then without his consent, he punched the mirror and it shattered on impact

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Warning my childern- self-harm

A few hours later, Alfred was laying in the mess of the bathroom. It was covered with glass and random chunks of granite. It was completely destroyed, he lay in the middle starting at the wall bleeding from his wrists because he wanted to feel something.  

He just noticed how truly dead and just broken he had truly become, it was so easy to ignore when he was just floating around blindly with no intent in life. But now, it was in front of him. Why was he like this? Why can't he feel anything but this deep sense of utmost dread?!

Alfred wanted to cry and yet his body physically denied him such a thing, he couldn't do it? He just lay there in the mess that might've been a bathroom. He just stares blankly at the wall as his wrists stitch themselves up. 

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Alfred has been avoiding sleep, he is exhausted beyond belief. And he is used to all-nighters. He is having some sort of breakdown as he freaks out over himself. The other countries are immediately worried about them, and many lessons have been spent trying to care for Alfred. Trying to get him to eat, sleep, or just care for himself.  

Today, was Friday, and an A day. He was sitting at lunch, hunched over completely as his eyes drooped heavily and his stomach is clenching as it spends another week empty. He was losing weight fast and he just looked terrible. The two Italies watch carefully, Feliciano legit frowning as he surveys Alfred and Lovino is not far behind, genuine worry on the tsundere's face. 

Alfred feels week, his eyes struggling to stay open as they were weighed down heavily, and he just hurts all over. He cracked a sad, almost pathetic smile. He finally felt something. And then the world went black.

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Ringing, the world was ringing around him and he felt himself get moved about by soft garlic smelling hands. The world was so dark and it hurt, there were voices and screams and he wanted it all to stop. 

"A-f-d!!!! Mr-----nes!! P---ea-- A---er!! V----e" A voice said and he didn't understand what was happening. He just wanted the ringing to stop and his body to just stop hurting completely. "L----d--ig!!!!!!!"

He didn't know what happened next as he curled in on himself, a soft feeling started to fill him and it was almost comforting as it numbed the pain. He wanted to laugh, smile. Make noise as dark euphoria fills him. He then lets the feeling come, relaxing completely.

"He's not breathing!" Someone yelled and Feliciano started crying. By now the other nations had run from their classrooms, Ludwig was trying to comfort Feli. Ivan looked on, it was hard to decipher what he was thinking as he stared down at Alfred's now limp body. Spain and England were both trying to get Alfred back to them fruitlessly, Canada cried into France. 

911 was called, and soon Alfred was being carted away. He was still...dead. But, if the nations were right he wouldn't stay dead. But, he would go into a coma that could last a few days up to a few decades. Alfred was rushed to the hospital and after a while of work, the doctors announced he was stable but in a coma. 

Matthew was the first into the room, this man could be his brother goddammit. Matthew cried as he saw Alfred hooked up to many machines, Francis tried to comfort him. Everyone felt like crying, they haven't even known him for that long and it already feels like he's a part of the family. Ivan and Yao both stood to the side, similar expressions of unreadability as they looked over the scene. Hungary was gently hiding her tears in Austria's side, the musician looking at the scene. 

Alfred was in a coma, but for how long? No one could know for sure. 

A/N- Welp, now this turned a dark turn............. That's all I got, I'm gonna go cry and work on chapter 12. 

What is editing?

Au revoir!