Leave me (a Severus and Edward friendship fanfic)

Chapter 4- The other choice

Author’s note: Welcome back to ‘Leave Me’. I apologise profusely for not updating this story in the last few months- real life (i.e. uni) got in the way and I was extremely busy. However, I am back on board and hope to update one of my stories weekly-fortnightly until the end of February.

Thank you so much for being patient- you have no idea how much I appreciate it :)

Anyway, as you will hopefully recall, the previous chapter described the conversation that took place between Severus and Edward in the bar in Spinner’s End (Severus’ POV of course- see ‘A life worth living’ for Edward’s POV).

Anyway, here’s what happened next….

Enjoy! And please remember to vote and comment when you’re done!

‘Leave Me’

Chapter 4- The other choice

Severus’ POV

My vision went in and out of focus as I stared at the forest green liquid simmering in the cauldron in front of me.

How long have I been standing here? I wondered. I craned my neck to my left to look at the clock on the wall.

10:20pm. Twenty minutes since I had arrived home- twenty minutes I was alive when I could have been dead.

My body swayed dangerously, my vision still blurry and out of focus. I grabbed onto the table my cauldron was sitting on to prevent myself from falling over.

Forcing my body upright, I took two deep breaths; my head was heavy and I felt dizzy.

I tried to contemplate why, after twenty minutes, I had yet to consume the green poison.

Why?

Somehow through my drunken haze I knew why; that kid placed doubt in my mind. Doubt I did not want or need; my life, or rather the end of it was going smoothly until he entered the bar.

For twenty minutes I had been staring blankly at the liquid in front of me as my mind willingly dissociated from the torture my body was inflicting on me. Every instinct was begging me to drink it- anything to escape this Hell, but the rational part of my brain which was slow and murky due to the alcohol I had consumed kept pushing me to reconsider.

What did the boy say? I tried to recall. The energy required to remember even that much induced another bout of dizziness.

This time, I fell to the floor; my grip on the table had slipped and I was too intoxicated to keep my balance. My right cheek slammed onto the cool tile along with my shoulder.

“Argh,” I moaned. Taking deep breaths so I would remain conscious, I dragged myself towards my living room- to a lounge.

I used my left arm to pull my intoxicated body along the ground, and then hauled myself onto the closest couch. Once there, I immediately lay down on my left side so I was facing the fire place.

I felt tired- so tired. I had never been so intoxicated or exhausted in my life.

My right temple was pounding thanks to my clumsiness and I could barely stay conscious.

Perhaps this is how I would die?

But even in this state, I knew I would not; it would take a lot more than alcohol and a head injury to kill even me.

No, this won’t kill me, but falling unconscious is a possibility.

As if on command, my brain felt like it was trying to shut down, protecting itself from all I had experienced that night. I desperately wanted to escape it too; Lily’s face, her house, that boy in the pub and his tear filled eyes.