Caught By The Fire (Avoc Scorned)

Chapter 15: Reckless

I thought physically hurting Avoc will be the worse emotional suffering I would encounter. The pain and guilt was so severe, I thought I already reached the high extent of an emotional pain so I assume the other approaching problems would only pale in comparison. It was too heavy that it leads me to the darkest point of my life.

Akala ko iyon na ang magiging pinakamalala sa lahat, ang pinaka sukdulan sa paghihirap ko. Ang akala ko dahil nakaya ko siyang saktan sa ganoon paraan ay kakayanin ko na ang kung ano pang ibang paparating na problema.

It's like I've faced and survived tsunami so harsh waves would only felt like a joke. But little did I know that what what's coming is no harsh waves. It's freaking bigger than tsunami that it did not only drowned me. It killed me...

What happened in my life is a catastrophe. Everything was just like a tip of the iceberg and the real deal is yet to come.

Avoc got better after three weeks. Alam ko dahil lihim ko siyang pinupuntahan sa hospital. Pathetic, I know. I made a clown of myself for after shooting him with my gun, I called an ambulance for help and watch from afar when they deliver him to the hospital.

Sa totoo lang ay nawalan na ako ng pakialam sa mga oras na 'yon. Kung pasabugin man ni Velkan ang bungo ko dahil hindi nagawang hayaan tuluyan mapahamak si Avoc ay balewala na sa akin.

What matters for me above all that time is his safety despite of the irony of what I have just done. Because I realized right at that moment, I would die if he dies. What's the point of trying to spare him from the chaos of my life brings if I'm gonna lose with my own bare hands.

What's more ridiculous with that situation is when he blocked the supposed investigation. He lied, saying that it was supposed to be a holdap. Holdap sa isang isolated na highway! I bet the authorities didn't buy it pero dahil si Avoc mismo ang ayaw maki-cooperate ay binitiwan na rin ang problemang iyon. Ang sabi niya ay sinubukan niyang manlaban kaya nabaril.

I was in the darkest moment of my life. I always wanted to beat myself up for doing that to him. If only I was brave enough to choose the hard way.

The hard way is choosing him and to fight for him, for us. But fighting for us means putting a lot of innocent lives at stakes. My sisters', the Cruises and specially him. Sa totoo lang ay wala talaga akong pagpipilian. Dahil kahit ang kinokonsidera kong madaling paraan ay may masasaktan pa rin. But it's a lesser damage, compared to the lives of our loves one.

I never wanted to hurt him like that. Hell, I would even catch a bullet for him but I was left with no choice when Velkan erupted after my selfish of a sister ran away with Argus Cruise. Kakabalik lang namin mula Russia, sa mismong araw ng kasal ni Aravella at Wretch nang tumakas ang aking kapatid pagkatapos muling latiguhin ni Velkan.

That greedy move of her triggered Velkan to start a war alongside with Sia Malcolm. Sobrang gulo na ng sitwasyon. He threatened me to kill Avoc Cruise right in front of my eyes if I won't put an end to our relationship and fail to immediately return my sister.

I swear before I came out with shooting him, I gave Avoc a lot of option. Ilang beses ko siyang kinumbinsi na layuan na ako. I begged him not to make it hard for me and just cooperate. Forget about me and move on. Hindi siya nakinig. Nanatiling matigas ang ulo niya. He even offered to help me escape from my fucked up life. Ang sabi niya ay lalapit kami sa Lolo niya. Hindi ko alam kung anong magagawa ng Lolo niya dahil kahit na makapangyarihan ito at dating heneral ng bansa, sigurado akong wala itong magagawa laban sa grupo na kinabibilangan ko.

"Hindi magiging madali, alam ko. This is going to be hard for the both of us but just let me in, just let me do something. Don't shut me out and I will fucking stir this relationship to the right coast! Let me guide this! Let me guide us both. I know the right way. Hayaan mo ako dahil kung ikaw lang ang magko-kontrol kung saan dadalhin ang relasyon ito, sa maling daan talaga ang punta natin."