Caught By The Fire (Avoc Scorned)

Chapter 20: Survive

My donor is Billie Zobel, the girl who met a fatal accident during her graduation day that led her to be in coma for eight long years. The daughter of a renowned philanthropist and businessman in the Philippines, Gustavo Zobel, the same old man I met in Australia several years ago.

I don't know if it's a coincidence or fate's will but the first thing I did when I woke up after my operation was to cry in front of the old Gustavo as I thanked him and her daughter.

It took me long enough to process my current situation. Hindi pa ako makapaniwala na iba na ang puso ko. Wala ng sumasakit kahit sa simpleng paghinga lang. It feels normal, just like before. Then I realized that it's a brand new heart, from someone whom I can't really consider a stranger.

I cried so much that day when Gustavo Zobel broke down in front of me after I sincerely said my thank you for his daughter's heart. The old man embraced me, like it's not me he's embracing but his sweet daughter instead.

Walang tigil ang pasasalamat ko non sa matandang ginoo. Hindi makapaniwala na sa lahat pa ng tao, sa anak pa talaga nito manggagaling ang pangalawa kong pagkakataon para sa mundong ito. It is indeed, small world after all.

Ginugol ko ang mga sumunod na buwan sa tuluyan pagpapagaling. I was active with my frequent follow-up appointments with my transplant care team. Along with physical exam, those appointments include blood tests to check for infections and track how well the anti-rejection medications are working. I also attended a compulsory heart rehabilitation program and so far, I keep on feeling better.

The first year after my heart transplant is the most crucial. Maraming follow-ups monitoring at tests. At sa lahat ng iyon ay lagi kong nabubungaran si Gustavo Zobel. Hindi siya nawawala sa mga check-ups ko. He's always there, happy and looking relieved whenever my tests goes well.

He knows everything about me now. Dahil walang ibang nakakausap, sa kanya ko naku-kwento ang mga naiisip at hindi na nga napigilan i-kwento ang buhay sa kanya. He knows that I was a former assasin and it was what led me to be shot in my heart that caused me to have a disease. Lahat ay nasabi ko kahit ang tungkol sa mga anak at sa ama nito. Pati ang paniniwala ng lahat na tuluyan nga akong nasawi noong nabaril. And he listened to me, like a father who's thirsty for his daughter's stories.

Nabanggit ko rin ang binabalak na pagtatago at huwag ng magpakita sa mga mahal sa buhay kahit maayos na ang kalusugan.

Sa mga panahon 'yon ay nagkaroon kami ng kaonting tampuhan ni Uncle Victor nang sabihin ko sa kanya ang gusto kong mangyari.

Ilang beses namin pinagtalunan iyon. Siya man ang unang nakaisip sa ideya na patayin ako sa isip ng ibang tao, hindi niya naman intensyon patagalin o panindigan iyon. He just want to protect me that time and that's the only way he think that's very accurate for the situation. Wala sa plano niya na patagalin iyon pero dahil sa mga pinagdaanan ko, hindi na iyon ang naging prioridad niya kundi ang aking kalusugan. And now that I'm temporarily stable, he couldn't understand why I chose to remained dead instead of reuniting with my family and my twins.

Iyon ang desisyon ko even after the doctor told me that the life expectancy after heart transplant depends on a person's medical condition and age. Na sa kaso ko, maaaring mas positibo ang kahahantungan ng lahat lalo na't naging mabuti naman ang kalagayan ko sa unang taon pagkatapos ng heart transplant.

Sa kabila ng magandang balita ay mas pinili ko pa rin panindigan na lang ang kung ano man unang pinaniwalaan ng lahat ukol sa akin. There's no guarantee that I'll be one of those lucky ones who will lasts a decade after the surgery. It will still depend on my health and fate's will so I would rather stay dead than give uncertainties to my family. Wala na rin naman mawawala dahil patay na ako para sa kanila. Paninindigan ko na lang iyon dahil doon pa rin naman ako papunta, apat o limang taon simula ngayon.