falling

~chapter 4~

"I don't like you hanging out with John B."

"I told you were just friends, Topper." She'd grown tired of saying it. Everytime she did it was like she was trying to convince herself it was true, that deep down she didn't want to kiss him.

She understood it was unfair to Topper. But if she didn't have Topper, nothing would be holding her back from John B.

They played coy for four months. Sarah continued to see Topper and she hung out with John B when she had the time. It was weird at first. Go go back to being just friends, but they handled it in time and she had thought that maybe the both of them had finally let go. She should have known that was impossible to do.

It was different this time. Because she couldn't dedicate all her time to John B like she used to when they were 10 or how she did for the year they had been dating. She had to split her time between him and Topper and Kiara and SAT practice and it all so much that she saw him less than she wanted. They were friends, probably always would be, but they had distanced each from each other just a little bit, which Topper enjoyed. As a result, she didn't know if John B was sleeping through the nights, if he studied for his tests, if he had a crush on a girl.

It was weird to be missing someone who had always been there. He was very much present still. But it was like a part of them was gone. He'd been there since she was a little girl and now suddenly he was just out of her reach. Like she could reel him in if she wanted to but her fishing line was tangled and so instead he just swam in circles around her.

She indulged herself in school, filling up her spare time with Kooks and other stuck up people which made Ward happy. She hated that Ward never liked John B, that he never noticed how the boy had helped his daughter heal from the loss of her mother. Instead the only thing Ward saw in John B was trouble and poverty. She had a feeling he smiled into the hug he had given her while she cried after her and John B broke up. If the loss of her mother pushed her farther away from her dad, then losing John B pushed them even farther apart.

"JJ asked me out." Kiara had told her from behind the counter at The Wreck.

"And you said?"

"Yes, of course. Now we both have boyfriends at the same time. That's never happened before."

She didn't tell Kiara, but it bothered her that she was dating JJ. They had made a pact when she was still with John B that one day Kiara would be dating JJ and they could all go on double dates. And now she was dating JJ and Sarah wasn't dating John B. So no. It wasn't the same. They had not fulfilled the pact because she was still with Topper and John B was still MIA. But she was happy that Kiara was finally with his best friend anyways.