shoelace [robin buckley]

chapter two

robin woke up as happy as ever.

she was filled with adrenaline and felt like she would start floating any second now as she got out of bed and moved to her record player. she stopped the spinning record from the night before and put the vinyl back in its sleeve. she searched for a certain record to play next and found it a minute or so later. robin gently set it up for success as she placed it on the turntable and lowered the needle where the song she wanted began.

a few crackly seconds later, cutting crew's "(i just) died in your arms" began to play. robin still had the volume very high from the night before, yet decided to turn it up a little bit more.

she began to dance around as the song filled the air. she swayed to her closet as she sang along, grabbing a hairbrush off her dresser and using it as a microphone.

robin continued dancing, spinning in circles with her closed eyes facing the ceiling as the chorus began.

"oh, i! i just died in your arms tonight! it must've been something you said! i just died in. your arms tonight! o-o-o-oh! i just died in your arms tonight!"

she retreated back to her closet after the song eventually ended. she first lowered the volume as she let the next track play.

dropping her hairbrush onto the floor after running it through her hair two or three times, robin grabbed a purple shirt supporting the logo of prince's 1999 album and threw it onto her bed. she then found an oversized black denim jacket in the back of her closet and threw it onto her bed beside the shirt. settling with a pair or jeans that had a few holes and doodles on them, robin left her closet and went to her bed.

after she had changed into her outfit, robin slipped her red sneakers on and stopped the record mid-song. still with a bounce in her step, robin left her room and went to the kitchen where her mother happened to be.

"hey, mom. what's happening?" robin asked optimistically, contrasting most days when she would ignore her parents as they ignored her.

"well, breakfast is happening," her mother answered, taken aback but slightly amused by her daughter. "what's happening with you?"

"nothing. just excited about summer."

"oh, right. last day of school. is that why you were screaming into your pillow again last night, then dancing around this morning? your music was awfully loud..." her tone was hard to read, sounding careless but also curious, bored but also amused, and rude but still polite.

robin paused and didn't know how to respond.

"it's alright, no one's mad at you," her mom said, surprising robin. "you're not in trouble."

"how'd you know i was dancing in my room?" robin gained enough courage and composure to ask.

"we could hear you jumping around, robin," her mom monotonously responded.

"oh. whatever," she shrugged. why should she care? she wasn't embarrassed, and wouldn't apologize to her parents willingly. she was a little embarrassed, but it was okay because the excitement and adrenaline of what summer held completely diminished it.

"i just don't understand why you would yell into your pillow over today being the last day of school." carefully, she added,"it didn't sound like an excited scream, robin. did... something happen at school? do you wanna talk about it?" she asked awkwardly.

robin had a weird relationship with her mother. more often than she would like to admit, robin trusted her mother, at least more than she did her father. but there was something that kept her from telling her mother the truth about why she was screaming; the girl she liked would be her partner for a summer project. robin felt the truth rising in her throat ready to come out, but it was stuck there. she wanted it to break free, but her stifling of the truth kept it stuck in her throat and that made it hard for her to say anything at all.