I feel like I was robbed at gun point for my innocence. My trust was violated. I was made to feel comfortable and safe just to be taken advantage of. He robbed me of my innocence and took me for everything I was worth. I haven't felt the same since. Like a part of my mind just shut off, stopped processing. I thought that I was fine. I thought it wasn't a big deal. But today I woke up feeling heavy. Like an elephant was sitting on my chest.
He took something from me and I've been trying to feel anything since. I've been so lonely and depressed. Nothing has been making sense. Putting myself in corners to cry in instead of asking my friends for help. He took the last bit of light in me. All the things that made me good and he made me amount to nothing. I'll never be the same again.
He took my light and all the pure things in me... And I hate myself for being too weak. For not fighting harder than I already was. For being scared. For believing somehow I deserved this... I hate myself for seeing the best in people, for being so naïve. Now I'm just a shell of the old me trying to heal out of this place of self hate.
It wasn't me who harmed me. But I feel like I betrayed myself somehow for letting a nobody have access to my light, for letting a nobody even be near my aura.
- Written 08/08/2020.
YOU ARE READING
Dim.
PoetryTired of trying to be everything. Trying to be perfect. Wrong paths and wrong people and missed opportunities. Am I letting my mental illness take over my life? A look into the mind of a BPD, Anxiety ridden woman. With no identity but her Panic. W...
