Title: Tainted
Author: cynthiashotstories
Chapters Read: 5
Cover:
I think the cover is beautiful and I like the colors used. My thoughts on the cover would be that if I didn't read the blurb, I may have not put it together that this was going to be a Draco fanfiction story. To attract readers from that fanbase, you may want to consider making it fit a little bit better into that world. I know it's a little cliché, but a slight tweak could draw more attention to it.
Blurb:
The blurb was very well written. There was a perfect amount of plot and mystery without giving the whole story away. I think your blurb would draw your readers in. Excellent job!
Plot:
The plot was interesting and was a familiar struggle for a lot of teenagers. I think it is very relatable to the reader. Harlow is caught between having a crush on someone who floats from one girl to the next and mixed emotions about someone who doesn't have the best reputation. I liked the more slightly more mature feel from the original Harry Potter storylines. I think it was the perfect amount added to these characters. The voice of the story also fits well with the original storylines and I liked how certain situations that happened were slipped in subtly to be told from a different viewpoint. Since this is the beginning of a turbulent year for Draco, I am interested to see how the events that will unfold with Voldemort are introduced to this plotline. Readers who are well versed with the Harry Potter world or Draco fans will enjoy the different take on this story.
Character Development:
Harlow is a very unique character for a Slytherin girl. Unlike how a lot of other Slytherins are portrayed, Harlow is compassionate and does not care about the pure Wizard bloodlines. She is a very typical teenage girl trying to find her way through the complexities of growing up. I enjoyed her little quirks like sleeping with the scarf and her descriptions of watching Blaise snogging Claudia.
Draco was himself with a slight twist. Hearing his internal voice was intriguing. His ideas and beliefs are rooted deep within his lineage but inside his head, he was not the same person as his actions would lead you to believe. It was nice to see that Draco had more inside him than just a bad attitude.
Pacing/Flow:
The story moved along well and the pacing was on point. There weren't any long drawn out points and the dialogue helped move along the story. It was a quick easy read and fit the style of the story being told.
Grammar/Structure:
There were few minor punctuation issues and a couple of tense issues. Overall, they did not detract from the structure of the story in any way and could be corrected easily.
