Title: Better Not Fall
Author: beautifulpoetic_
Chapters Read: 5
Cover: The cover was amazing. I really liked the thought put into it. At first, it looked like a typical Rorschach test until you look deeper into the details. It was really beautiful.
Blurb:
The simplicity of the blurb was nice. I thought you gave enough of a plot to draw a reader in and it had some good hooks. I wasn't really far enough in the story to get much other than the hints of Garrett and how he affected Jessica. I think once his presence is in the story more, it will connect better with the blurb.
Plot:
The plot is a classic one with a slight twist. Beginning with Jessica deep in a relationship with someone else, who she doesn't want to be with, while secretly traumatized over her relationship with Garrett was a great idea. I'm not sure how exactly this will go, will it flashback to what happened or will he come back into her life? I'm curious to see how you develop it further.
Character Development:
Jessica was in a hard spot. Her voice was very clear. Her confusion and anger over the situation she was in was very well conveyed. She had so many emotions running through her and I totally understood why she felt what she did.
I felt bad for Cole for a big chunk of the portion I read. He seemed like he was in the relationship deep but knew there was something more he didn't know. My feelings for him changed when I found out he was using her phone to track her. Not cool Cole.
Pacing/Flow:
The dialogue between Jessica and Cole was really strong. The cuts back and forth between POV was easy to understand as well. I might suggest restructuring the letter and the therapy session a little. Possibly break the letter into a few paragraphs so it doesn't all blend together. My other note would be when Jessica is at the party, pull Garrett's voice out of the paragraph to make it a little more prominent.
Grammar/Structure:
You stayed in your tense well and used the appropriate punctuation where needed. There were a couple of sentences that could be broken up a bit that ran a little long. All the words in those sentences meant something to your story, so I thought they were needed. I wouldn't cut it out, but I might suggest chopping a few of them into multiple sentences.
