Light & Shadow

Chapter 8

"So," Peter asks as we finish the details of our upgrades suits. His eyes keep trailing down to the guns and the compacted batons on the belt of my current suit, "you carry guns now?"

I don't meet his eyes as I make sure my wristband interfaces are properly secured. "They're just for emergencies."

"They're Nat's aren't they?" He asks, but it sounds more like a statement than a question. I nod and offer him a sad smile. "I didn't know you had them, but I'm glad. You two always seemed close."

"She was like an older sister or another mum where mine failed—besides Pepper, obviously." I tell him and brush my fingers against the guns for reassurance. "Clint—um—he gave them to me after the memorial we had for her. He said Nat—" I have to bite back the tears as I remember when he gave them to me the same day of Dad's funeral, "he said she wanted me to have them and that she loved me." Tears stream down my cheeks, and I hastily brush them off. "Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. You never have to with me." Peter's hand finds mine. "I'm always here for you, and I know how much you lost during the Blip."

I sniffle and look at Peter, "You know, she taught me how to shoot, fight without powers, hide in plain sight, and everything I've had to use these past few months. Sometimes I hear her voice telling me exactly what I need to do. Plus, I found it's easier to stay undetected when you're using guns rather than trademarked powers."

"You shouldn't have had to do any of that stuff." A sigh escapes him as his thumb brushes over my knuckles. "At least not alone."

"I wouldn't have let you come with me if you tried." I suddenly remember MJ and the way he looked at her. Shame rises up in my throat as I pull my hand from his and continue speaking. "There's too much that you would have missed. You needed to be with our friends and May, and they needed you with them more than I did."

"You can't know that."

"I can, because I do." I avoid looking at him, "I gave up a lot when I left. You were better off staying—having a senior year, hanging out with our friends. It's better than running from someone when you don't even know their names or faces. Better than constantly looking over your shoulder and rarely sleeping because you don't know if or when they'll find you. So yeah, I'm pretty sure I know that you were better off back home where I knew you'd be safer."

"That didn't mean it was much better." The ways he says it makes my heart ache. I wish he could understand why I did what I did. I doubt he can unless he went through it too, but it's something I'd never want another person to feel.

"I hate to interrupt, but the order has been made for the drones to launch." ARTI says loud enough for us to hear it. "Beck also seems to be targeting Fury and Hill."

"Figures. Happy, call Fury and give him a warning. They're the only people who could prove he's a fraud, which makes them loose ends to be trimmed." I sigh and tap my foot.

"How am I supposed to do that? Beck's listening, right?"

"I'm sure you'll figure something out." I reply and try to ignore the anxiety rolling through my stomach. "ARTI, have the override program ready to go. If it comes down to it, you need to be ready at a moment's notice."

"Override program?" Peter asks, clearly trying to figure it out. "You have access to EDITH too?"

"Yeah, I do, but since you transferred control, I can't access her or counter another primary user's commands without causing a shift in the system. Which also means, if Beck's teams are paying attention, they're bound to notice and backtrace it."

"Which means they could potentially figure out your location and identity." Peter nods and sighs, "That makes sense then."

"I regret to inform you that a kill order has been issued for three of your friends." ARTI informs us, and I clench my fists.