WAKE (Wattpad edition)

27. Beautiful.

Soundtrack: 'Naked' - Ella Mai.

{Kadee}

She felt like she'd just been plugged in and was slowly glowing with light and heat. Her fingertips tingled—she wanted to touch him again, to mold the pieces of him back together, to give herself to him like medicine, like Bea had said. "Can we...try again? You left before I was finished." She held her breath, her cheeks burning, watching him through her lashes. It took enormous effort not to simply climb onto the bed with him—to wait to be invited into his space. She'd never had to wait before.

He held still, his fingers pressing into his arms, his eyes touching the wall full of drawings beside her. He ducked his head and pushed forward to the edge of the bed, setting his bare feet on the floor.

"How do you want to do this?" His voice was a little rough.

There was only one step between them, and she settled on the edge of the bed next to him. He looked sideways at her and she could see the boy he had been in his face, broken and afraid and angry—and somehow still hoping with all those pieces lying sharp around him.

She knew the word for the feeling that leapt up inside her, displacing all her fear, but it was too soon to say it, even to herself. She dropped her eyes and climbed behind him, smoothing her hands across his shoulders. The T-shirt bunched and wrinkled under her palms. She tugged gently on his sleeve. "Can you take this off? It would be easier for me—"

He ducked and pulled his shirt over his head from the back of his neck. She caught her breath, one hand settling on the bare skin of his shoulder blade, light as air. He was still, his head down and his hands clenched so tightly on the edge of the bed that his knuckles showed white.

"You're so beautiful, Cary Douglas." Her belly was hot and heavy, knotting like a fire dragon. He drew in a breath, turning his head to look at her, his lips trembling.

She glared back. "I'm serious." The shape of him was perfect, his skin peeling and freckled on the top of his shoulders. The rest of his back should have been fair and smooth. She stroked her hands down the length of his spine before she could worry about what it would feel like. The ridges of his scars registered against her palms, and she took a slow breath, feeling the fire dragon bare its teeth in a hard grin. The scars didn't feel gross. They were warm and alive like the rest of his skin. She stroked her hands over him again, like she could unknot those scars with his muscles and return his back to when it had been whole and unmarked.

He curled forward, clasping his neck with his hands, whimpering in his throat. Not a noise of pleasure. Kadee lifted her hands, ready to surrender. She touched him lightly on the wide muscle under his arm, biting her lip as she watched the fine hairs on his skin stand up. It had been a long time since she'd had a first with a guy—this response to her touch was a first. "If you can't," she whispered, "we can stop."

He shifted and she backed up, bumping against the wall in his tiny room. He stretched himself full length on his stomach, clenching his pillow and burying his face in it. "Finish."

Kadee had done backrubs as a prelude to making out before, but this didn't feel sexy at all. It felt like working on a patient in rehab. Cary's skin shivered when she touched him—his muscles flinched and jumped. Her hands and arms started to ache with exertion, but she didn't quit, talking quietly as she worked, telling him what she was doing.

She could hear him trying to take long, slow breaths and push them back out—but sometimes a sound leaked out, so small and frightened it was hard to believe it came out of his broad body. The fire dragon heated her belly, and she stretched her neck and flexed her hands for another round of her versus whatever the hell was happening in his back. She said, "Does this feel okay? Is it helping?" and he didn't say anything, but he didn't sit up either.