WAKE (Wattpad edition)

35. Lions.

{Pete}

The Elders' meeting went for hours. When he was finally free to leave, Pete staggered out of the church, ears ringing and body shaking like he'd just been pulled out of a wreck in a multi-car pileup. He sagged in the dark safety of the driver's seat in his van, covering his face with his hands. They were still up there in the boardroom, speaking in the tight, controlled tones of men who were deeply angry, their battle lines drawn. No decision had been made, but he was dismissed for them to continue the discussion without him. He hadn't spoken a word in the past hour anyway.

He straightened and started the engine. Dully, he noted that it was past the girls' bedtime. Mel was probably waiting up, and Cary would expect a verdict as well. He had nothing good to tell them. His stomach was twisted so painfully he thought he might need to throw up.

Roaring lions that tear their prey

open their mouths wide against me

The words of the psalm floated up out of the dark as he drove—one of the ones you weren't supposed to pray because the words belonged uniquely to Jesus. He let out a shuddering sigh and his stomach eased. There was comfort in that—Jesus had not only prayed that prayer; he had also fully embodied it. At least Pete wasn't alone.

Mel met him in the hallway and put something in his hand: a white sheet of drawing paper, folded once. He opened it with cold fingers, searching her face.

Cary's scrawl was pressed dark on the page, just a few lines. I'm going—found some family—thank you. Pete couldn't really take it in.

"Jon's gone with him," Mel said.

Pete looked sharply at her. "Where?"

"A farm somewhere northeast of here. Cary says his mother's sister is there."

A little of the stress and anger wound tightly inside of Pete uncoiled, snapping out. "What is he thinking, taking Jon out of rehab at a time like this? He's there to get better. How could he do that without speaking to us?"

"Peter." Mel put her hand on his face, smoothing the side of his beard. He took a short breath, holding himself still. He'd defended that space all afternoon from tearing lions and now she was inside it. She let her hand drop to his shoulder, resting it there. "I spoke with Cary. Jon asked him to come. He wasn't doing well at the house and Cary was worried."

"Why didn't he bring him back here then?" Pete asked in a lower voice. "We could have cared for him here—instead of haring off across the province with a teenaged driver. When I asked him to reach out, I never imagined—"

"Jon's dealer is just up the street," she said simply. "He's not ready to come back."

He shut his eyes and put his hand over hers, pressing it to steady himself.

I am poured out like water

all my bones are out of joint

"What did the board of Elders decide?" she asked quietly.

He drew a painful breath. At least she hadn't asked how the meeting had gone. He didn't want to speak of it. "They didn't. They relieved me of duties this week while they continue their discussion. I think they want to speak to the superintendent. And hold a congregational meeting. I don't know."

"What do you want to do?"

My mouth is dried up like a potsherd

my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth

He couldn't speak. There weren't words. He met her eyes, shaking his head, desperate for her to understand what he didn't understand himself.