Feral Eclipse(EDITING)

33.

Loving you
Was the most exquisite form
Of self destruction

.

These eyes of mine, they roam too much. My lips. They've kissed tears away and they've spewed words of divinely wicked sin.

These clammy hands, they attract such heated attention, growing sweatier as if I am hurdling a bead of the sun inside of my scrutiny, even my back may slouch and bounce with every confident step I take just because I hold the weight of every mountain, every star, and boldened dissipating planet to carry for a burden before it bursts into fragments.

But I hold it steadily anyway despite buckling knees that whine and petition for osteotomy.

It scares me how much I can remember. Despite the faintest of memories my mind proposes for me to remember during a passing moment which is traumatic, and nonsensical. Each and every time I close my eyes, for I am no longer surrounded by the familiar but another wooded creak deluged by clouded dreams which consumes me and all that I know.

What do I know?

I know that I am neither sleeping or awake because the wind that stirs around me strokes strands of my hair across my face, making my nerves shiver even under my impressionable integument, and that I am chilly even more now that I have realized that I'm naked.

This isn't a dream state and yet I feel like my feet are floating inside of an oceanic supplement or better, swimming in midair.
Surprisingly, for the first time that I have returned here, I am neither chained or in restraints. Freely provocative against natural or eternal wallowing instinct.

My feet almost mold perfectly into the soil, like they've been here all along and only my mind has been gone. They crinkle and bury themselves deeper almost becoming rooted permanently.

I am even more grounded than I've ever been or that I'll ever be for that matter.

A gush of winds fleets outside the shallow part of my earlobe just enough for my shoulders to slack as I inhale wickedly, breathing in. It reminds me that I've been alive only because my body wishes me too while holding my breathe taints my cheeks ruby, as a ache develops warmly in every place that is exposed.

Something is breaking, and before I could finally be graced upon my own two feet again, I have fallen as a snap could be rung over my head.

"I just have to know,"  With eyelids that are glued shut, my arms are barricaded around my backside. If pain is around me, I no longer feel it. "Do you believe in sacrifices?" The voice is dauntless with the right amount of tease added towards the end of their inquiry which is short lived— awaiting my answer. I couldn't answer right away. I was too lost, too stunned to speak. I am given the sense it's just isn't that simple.

Perhaps this only a dream right? I've always been here. Lost in time. "For the right thing? Yes." I answered back into the void of nothing. Any moment now I will simply wake up. I could feel the distant reality plummeting into the pits of the truth, back where I belonged. "For love?" The voice asked even more curious than before, rapidly I shook my head. "Love. Yes, definitely Love." I chimed.

Immensely, my world began to fall. My eyes were granted permission to see, feeling lulled without excitement. While my optics rolled to the back being tucked neatly behind their sockets, time had frozen at a stand still parallel while I gazed at the reflection of my body displayed flat against my bed. I had been lost in translucency, unaware of the promise I had made to a stranger whom I've never seen before inside of this unconscious realm.