My Dear Hobby

A fool with a unrequited love

I'm not sad but I am not happy
I don't know what to feel at all
I imagined many outcomes of you and I
But I never though this would be the ending

Our story started at high school
We were so different yet same at the same time
And that attracted me, as we became acquaintance
We became quickly friends

And as I become more closer to you
I felt something rising in me, I became more aware of you
And I always seem find myself staring at you
"You always look so beautiful" I say in my mind

I know that you don't look at me the way that I look at you
I know you can never be mine, I can only just stare
I had no courage to fight and confess
I was afraid............

So I hide this feeling of mine so deep
That I can still smile while you're getting close to someone other than me
You telling me you're crush and you want me to help you
I felt hurt, I love you but i can't do this

I rejected helping but i can't see you sad
So i helped you get together with your crush
I feel like a fool but seeing you happy
"At least you're happy." i say while crying inside

I wanted to move on, i wished i never loved you
But was thankful that loving you might seem painful
But you were my most beloved person that i loved dearly
I want to go back in time and maybe if make different choices

Maybe I would be the one walking through the aisle with you
Maybe we would have kids and tell them our love that started from high school
But It is the ending now, and you're gonna spend your life with someone else
I wish I wasn't a coward back then

Wished that i confessed to you back then
Rather than not knowing, and being afraid, maybe if i pursued you and confessed.
Would i be the one walking on the isle with you?

I don't know but it's too late for regrets and all i can wish is that for you to be happy, even if im not happy.

Goodbye is all i can say to what i felt for you. Yeah goodbye...............