Riddle Me ; Draco Malfoy

seventeen

17 ✰ use/mention of drugs/self harm
little blue pill pt2

One, Two, small circular blue pills lay in my palm. Pansy herself with the same amount, glancing at me as if she was waiting for me to swallow them.

Thoughts rapidly rocket throughout my mind, bouncing around and making my entire choice processing to cloud up; now fogging the constant notions of 'don't do it'. With them now muddled, the hurt within me was increasing briskly. The blue pills grew more and more enticing.

Then, without much more thought, I place them on my tongue. Easily dry swallowing them, as the size was quite tiny. Pansy follows after, we both sit awkwardly opposite each other.

"Why are you being so nice?" I ask, my brows furrowing.

Pansy shrugs, "I'd hate to admit it, but I feel bad."

"You feel bad..." I repeat her, trying to wrap my head around what she just said.

"Well— Yeah. Everyone knows you fucked Draco, and that your like in love with him too." A soft laugh utters from her, she stands up from her bed and nods her head towards the door. Getting up from the bed myself, We walk to the dormitory door and make our way to Potions.

"Why does everyone think I love him?" I question Pansy with curiosity as we stroll to Professor Slughorn's classroom.

Pansy sighs, "You just have this stare, when you look at him. You're shit at hiding it, I'm surprised he can't see it."

I remain quiet the rest of the way, thinking way to intensely on what she had said. Did I really have a stare? A stare that, apparently, clearly showed I was in love with him? It was annoying me. I thought I managed to control my expression or whatever around him. Clearly not. Or Pansy was just being her normal self and trying to worry me. But that didn't make sense. She would of worried me right after she saw me panicking, just to hurt me even more. She didn't though.

She was kind.

Caring even.

I shake my head subtly, jostling the thoughts to the back of my head. Right now, I needed to calm down and wait for whatever was going to happen to me.

**

Three-Quarters way through potions, the room was still and silent as students started to brainstorm for the essay, which was on Everlasting Elixirs. You don't even want to know the minimum of parchments required for this assignment. Attentively reading my advanced potion book, the mere sound of footsteps and two chair screeches articulate through the hushed class. Glancing to my side, Draco had just sat down. He slouches into the chair, playing with his tie. My gaze wanders over him, his green and silver tie messily knotted; hanging loosing around his neck. Beneath the slack tie was one undone button, along with his shirt tucked in sloppily. My brows furrow in hurt as my eyes skim over his pale neck, peppered with red and purple marks. Gulping, now with the knowledge that he wasn't lying; he actually did fuck her. And that hurt me.

But, the little blue pills were beginning to affect me; mightily and colossally. Everything slowly morphs, creating an incredible feeling of calmness and that nothing mattered. Exactly what I wanted. I glance over my shoulder to Pansy, who was smiling like an idiot and throws a thumbs up at me. I smile, before turning my attention to the front of the room.

The feeling was amazing. All the bad thoughts were — gone. Vanished into thin air as the magical pills overpowered my relaxing body. I slouch into my chair, feeling the backrest glide up my spin as I sunk further done. Time felt like it was slow motion but fast forwarding at the same time, it was insanely strange. And before I knew it, the bell had rung.