Who do you love?

26

Calum laid awake in his bed, tossing his empty juice bottle into the air before catching it and repeating the process. His alarm wasn't set to go off for another half hour but he couldn't go back to sleep. All of his thoughts were on Teal, on her incredible understanding of how things were, of how they had to be, at least for now. Sure, she was the one with the job at stake which perhaps made it easier for her but that didn't help him deal with the guilt he was feeling from leading other women on and right in front of her.

He knew he was meant to take Katie for an adventure today and as excited as he was about the activity, something he hadn't done in years, he was less excited about the company he'd be keeping. Katie was great, his hesitation had nothing to do with her and everything to do with the brunette with blue eyes who had completely stolen his heart and who he was petrified of ruining things with.

He groaned as he rolled onto his side and returned the bottle to the night stand and tried to contain his thoughts as they drifted dangerously. The memories of his nights with Teal weren't blurry or half faded like his nights with other girls. No, their nights were special, every detail, the smell of her perfume, the way a bead of sweat worked its way across her skin, it was all perfectly ingrained in his memory and the flashes of it through his mind encouraged him out of bed and into the shower.

There was something enthralling yet intimidating about his feelings for Teal. Even when he had been in relationships and what he thought was love before, it had never felt like this. He hated how it had happened and that it was so complicated at least for the time being but he didn't care what it took, as long as he ended up with her.

After a longer than usual shower he pulled himself from the shower with the notion that the sooner he was ready the sooner he could see Teal. He dried himself off and slipped into an outfit for the day, hoping that wardrobe would take note of his casual ensemble and put together something similar. He raked his fingers through his hair, knowing that Kat would bitch at him for his hair being a mess but he was too preoccupied to care. He slid his phone into the pocket of his sweat pants and grabbed his backpack as he made his way to the room being used for prep.

The stylist seemed to have accepted his personal style and had dressed him in black jeans with a simple maroon shirt and a denim jacket. Kat had made him shave and then lectured him about his hair. If he was being honest he had barely heard her, hadn't even registered her words really, he didn't have the headspace. All of his mental energy was focused on the woman he caught only brief glimpses of until he found himself seated next to her in the van.

They kept finding themselves in this situation. His knee was devastatingly close to hers and yet he didn't dare brush his skin against hers. He was scared of touching her in public, terrified that even the smallest of gestures would sell them out and ruin any chance of what they wanted. He didn't dare risk it.

As the van began to move he slid his phone from his jacket pocket, scrolling through the recent texts until he found her name, or well her middle name, Ivy. He had changed her contact in an effort to prevent wandering eyes of others they were around from catching on to them. He opened their messages and began to type, feeling her eyes on him until he heard the subtle sound of her own phone vibrating in her pants pocket.

He raised his eyes ever so slightly, catching hers out of the corner of his eye and shooting her a wink.

He saw the subtle uptilt of her lips as she opened the text.

Missed you last night.

I missed you too. I would've come but I was scared to chance it. We're already playing with fire.

I get it. Can I see you later though?
I don't know if I can handle having to look at you all day and not being able to touch you.