The Half-Blood Princess

Chapter 45- Lullaby

With Lily and her family now in hiding, Sabrina could not see them as often as she used to.
She could no longer go to Lily's house, as it was shielded by extremely powerful protective enchantments. And since Sabrina was in hiding, she couldn't ask Dumbledore to take them down for her, for he didn't know that she was still alive.
With more time by herself, Sabrina could devote more of her attention to the Horcrux which she carried everywhere.
At least once a week she tried destroy it. But nothing she did had any effect.
And since she was hiding from the world, she couldn't search through libraries or book shops for the answer to her problem.

It took Sabrina a while to accept that her brother and her were now on the same side once again.
Since Severus had spent so long believing in Voldemort, Sabrina found it hard to trust him once again.
But after regular contact with him in secure locations, she decided to tell him where she lived, so that he could come and visit her.
This also meant that Severus would get to meet his nephew for the first time. As Sabrina had kept the information from him at first, to keep her son safe.
But now she trusted him enough to tell him the truth.

"Merry Christmas" announced Severus, after Sabrina opened her front door, letting him into her house for the very first time on Christmas Eve.
"Hello Sev. Happy Christmas. I'm glad you found the place O.K" replied Sabrina, as she ushered her brother inside.
"Well, it wasn't the kind of place I expected to find you. But I guess that was kind of the point" sighed Severus, while he hung up his coat on the rack.
"Yes. I thought that no one would think to look for me in a Muggle town"
"No, it was a good idea. But how are you paying for it?"
"The Potter's are helping me".

Severus frowned, "You haven't told them anything about me have you?".
"No, I haven't. No one knows that we are back in touch" reassured Sabrina.
"Good. I still wish that you had come to me first, instead of Potter" admitted Severus, who still harboured a grudge against his old enemy.
"I've already told you that I wasn't sure I could trust you, not back then. Remember, you only swapped sides rather recently, when things became personal for you"
"Even back then, I wouldn't have handed you over to the dark lord".

"Well, that's nice to know. But James has a wealth and fortune that we could never dream of inheriting. So I knew he would be able to afford to help me. And if it makes you feel any better, it was not James I turned to for help, it was Lily" admitted Sabrina.
"And even though you haven't been friends for years, she still agreed to help you?" Questioned Severus.
"Yes, because she is a good person... I don't know if she would help you, if you went to her, since you parted on more difficult terms. But she was willing to do anything to help me, because she doesn't believe that I am quite as evil as you. Obviously, I know that you have changed sides, and so does Dumbledore. But we can't risk anyone else finding out, not even Lily. So I can't tell her that you are actually good deep down".

"I am willing to let the whole world despise me, if it keeps her safe" informed Severus.
"How very noble of you" mumbled Sabrina.
Severus suddenly raised his wand, and turned his head towards the stairs.
"What is it?" Questioned Sabrina.
"I heard something. Someone else is here" he whispered.
Sabrina sighed and rested her hand on Severus's wand, pushing it down.
"Yes, someone else is here. But it's O.K, they aren't a threat" insisted Sabrina.

"You brought someone else here" hissed Severus.
"Not exactly. He lives here with me" replied Sabrina.
"So, you've got yourself a new boyfriend"
"No. I don't think I will ever love another man"
"Then who lives here"
"Let me show you".
Sabrina left the room and headed upstairs to fetch her son, returning a few moments later with him in her arms.
"Sev, this is my son; Regulus Severus Prince. Named after his father and you. I gave birth to him earlier this year, with Lily's help" revealed Sabrina.

"You have a child?" Questioned Severus, who couldn't quite believe what his eyes were seeing.
"Yes. I didn't learn that I was pregnant until after I lost the love of my life. So he never got to meet his son. Which means that I've had to raise our child alone. The only person who helped me through all this was Lily. But her visits have lessened, thanks to you telling the dark lord about some prophecy you heard" admitted Lily.
"I had to tell him, because I was his loyal servant at the time. But if I could back and change what I did, then I would" insisted Severus.
"I know. But we can't change the past. We can only focus on the present. And you've made both mine and Lily's lives harder and more lonely".

"Look, I'm not the only guilty party here. You did bad things too, before you went into hiding" reminded Severus.
"I know. I'm not claiming to be some saint. I killed people, and I don't deny it. And one day I hope to repent for my sins. But until that day, I must stay hidden to keep my son alive" admitted Sabrina.
"You don't have to do it alone any more. You have me" replied Severus.
"You can't be here all the time. You still have to play your part as the dark lord's most trusted spy, in order to give Dumbledore information on him"
"I can do both. I'm not with the dark lord all day. So when I'm not with him, I will be here with you, helping you. I promise. You are not alone anymore"
"Thank you Severus".

****
After Severus left later that day, Sabrina placed Regulus down gently in his bed.
He began to fuss, but Sabrina stroked his cheek softly and began to sing to him, in an attempt to get him to fall asleep.

"You who I cradled in my arms,
You, asking as little as you can,
Little snip of a little man,
I know I'd give my life for you.

You didn't ask me to be born,
You, why should you learn of war or pain?
To make sure you're not hurt again,
I swear I'd give my life for you.

I've tasted love beyond all fear.
And you should know it's love that brought you here.
And in one perfect night,
When the stars burned like new,
I knew what I must do.
I'll give you a million things I'll never own.
I'll give you a world to conquer when you're grown.

You will be who you want to be,
You, can choose whatever heaven grants,
As long as you can have your chance,
I swear I'll give my life for you.

Sometimes I wake up, reaching for him.
I feel his shadow brush my head,
But there's just moonlight on my bed.
Was he a ghost?
Was he a lie?
That made my body laugh and cry?
Then by my side the proof I see, his little one.
Gods of the sun,
Bring him to me.

You will be who you want to be,
You, can choose whatever heaven grants,
As long as you can have your chance,
I swear I'll give my life for you.

No one can stop what I must do.
I swear I'll give my life for you."

As Regulus drifted off to sleep, Sabrina looked out the window, up at the large December moon. And a tear slid down her face, as she thought of Regulus Black.
She wanted more than anything for him to be with her, raising their son alongside her.
But she knew that with him gone, it was up to her to give their boy the best life that she could give.

****************
The song Sabrina sings is called I'd Give My Life For You, from my favourite musical Miss Saigon.