my heartaches

Bingo

So here's a conversation i never forgot. You were still courting me back then, sending me texts all the time.

I was a college student, you were working for a mobile company. I always noticed you were a busy one. Always on your toes, traveling, hands in your phone or laptop, but you had time to text me to call me to invite me all the time you get.

"Let's meet up. Can you come to the mall? " you said over the phone one afternoon.

"uhmm..." i hesitated for a while.

"but we just saw each other yesterday and the day before, aren't you busy today? " i replied.

"don't worry i can manage, i just wanna see you. "

I smiled at that. I was a sad girl but you never failed to make me smile.

"uhmm... Okay I'll see u later. I'll be out in about an hour so I'll be there later. "

I hurried to the mall. I was excited to see you and a little scared. I always felt conscious around you. I wanted to look my best when you see me. I wanted to be best for you, but i of course i never told u that.

I remember clearly when we were talking over dinner in a fastfood chain.

"uhmm. You know we've been seeing each other everyday for a week now. " i said swallowing my chicken.

"yeah i know right. Haha.. That makes me Bingo! " you said amusingly.

"bingo? Haha. What does that mean? "

"Bingo, like I've completed a streak. I've seen you 7days a week, everyday and that is a big thing for me.

I always wanna see you no matter how busy i get. "

I was speechless. Not because i didn't like what you said, but because you touched my heart deeply at that. You made me feel special. Made me feel like I'm the only thing that mattered in your life. I felt loved.

Maybe that was one of the reasons why after almost three months of you courting me i finally said yes.

Maybe that was the reason why after a year and a half of being your girlfriend i find it difficult to let go even when i can no longer feel that love in you.

It's because i hoped that somehow, underneath that man you turned out to be right now is the man who once said bingo to me. The man who even under pressure, always had time, always found time for a girl like me.

Where is he now? What happened to him? What happened to us?

We had another fight last night. The reason being you not coming over for dinner at our house. I expected you to come, my parents expexted you to come but you didn't.

"i was busy okay, I'm very tired so i decides to go home directly. " you said over the phone.

"oh so you were busy? You were that busy you can't even afford to send me a text? Just a little text telling you can't come? "

"i was driving okay? I can't text you while driving.