Car Crash Club • Monsta X

vi.

Hyungwon blinked, his mouth falling open slightly, the roof growing dry as he tried to process. The room was quiet as they all watched him, and he was met with the sudden uninvited image of an ant being studied beneath a magnifying glass. "What- is this-" He hesitated, a ringing sound echoing through his ears. "Is this some sort of fucking joke-"

"Not a joke," one of them spoke quickly, standing up with his hands raised defensively, but he stopped in place when he noticed Hyungwon's tense posture. "We've all been in a crash before."

Hyungwon's eyes narrowed. They all looked fine. Better than fine, even. They looked like magazine models, sitting awkwardly in old wooden desks. "I don't know why the hell you're dragging me into this but it's not fucking funny, okay, and-"

"Winter, two years ago," the same boy interrupted, his eyes shining somewhat desperately as though he realized that Hyungwon was just seconds from walking away. "I was driving home from visiting my parents, and my girlfriend was in the car with me. My car slipped on the ice, flew straight into an intersection," he rushed out, and now Hyungwon realized that he wasn't holding his hands up to be nonthreatening.

He was showing Hyungwon his scars.

The light caught on one of them that ran across his right palm. It could be mistaken for a natural marking, only this line told not the future but the past. Hyungwon's own scars seemed to burn in response, and he winced involuntarily.

"I got hit by oncoming traffic. Broke my arm, a few ribs. My girlfriend...she didn't make it." The boy let out a breath, sensing that Hyungwon was considering his words. It was clear that there was more to the story, but nothing he was willing to share at the moment. "So, not a joke. I swear. I'm Hyunwoo," he said, pausing before extending a hand.

Hyungwon stared at the shiny scar for a moment before joining Hyunwoo's hand with his own, shaking once before letting his arm drop back to his side. It wasn't really that he wanted to shake hands, but he felt like it would make things even more uncomfortable if he ignored it. "I'm sorry that happened but I don't what that has to do with me."

"Fall recruitment," the boy from earlier said, tapping the drumsticks together in a staccato rhythm. "We needed to tap a few new members to keep our club going. And you sort of fit the bill."

"The bill?" Hyungwon repeated, frowning. His eyes hardened as he caught the boy's meaning, and any feelings of sympathy he'd felt for Hyunwoo melted like snowflakes on his scarred fingertips. "You mean because I was in a crash. That's why you dragged me here? You're hunting down car crash victims? How sick can you be?"

"I was doing you a favor," the kid snapped, crossing his arms, the drumsticks running parallel to his left bicep. "You don't want to be here, leave. Go have fun in a world with no one to care about you and no one who can possibly understand a fraction of what you feel."

"Jooheon, relax." The new speaker was a boy with fluffy hair and energetic eyes. From Hyungwon's momentary impression, it seemed to him that the boy had too much life crammed inside him, and it made Hyungwon uncomfortable. "I'm Minhyuk. And I think what Jooheon's trying to say is that everyone here understands what it's like to be in your situation. We've all been there before, in one way or another. And we've all gotten through it, or if not, we're getting there. And we can help you get through it, too."

Hyungwon ground his teeth, wanting to speak but wanting to be invisible and silent at the same time. Sure, he felt bad for the one kid, Hyunwoo. But from what he'd said, it had sounded like he had lost just one important person, not all of them at once. They couldn't understand Hyungwon. They were sad, maybe, but not in the same way he was. They wanted to move on.

He didn't want to.

"You don't have to decide anything right now," another one of them spoke up.

He looked nice and friendly, too. Was probably hiding scars, if Hyunwoo's story was anything like the rest of theirs. But he didn't look sad. Didn't look like his whole world had shattered. He looked like he'd maybe busted a taillight once. Not like his whole family had died in the span of a single day.

That was what had been bothering Hyungwon all this time.

They all looked happy.

They claimed to be victims, and yet they all looked fine. Like nothing had happened at all.

Like the other people in the car had never existed.

Hyungwon shook his head, opening his mouth but realizing that he didn't really have anything to respond to, to refute.

"Like I said, you don't have to-"

"No," Hyungwon interrupted, his voice coming out sharp. He flinched at his own tone, but he clenched his fists within his pockets.

"Just take some time to-"

"No, I'm not interested," Hyungwon cut off once more, taking a step back toward the door. His eyes flicked from one boy to another, each of them staring back at him like he was weird, like he was a shiny, broken toy.

An ant under a magnifying glass.

"I'm not interested," he repeated one last time.

He waited a second for someone to stop him, but the five of them just sort of nodded and shrugged among themselves.

So he left.