winter fires

prologue

Wires

You want to know something tricky?
Abuse.
You could walk right past someone who has no will to live- or whose begging and pleading with their eyes for someone to help them- and not see shit.
Abuse certainly is tricky, because not only does the abuser manipulate you but everyone around you on top of it. It's a vicious cycle that rarely ends happily. My cycle, was on that same path.
Imagine yourself walking carefree through a lovely meadow until suddenly you're in a dark cavernous pit with only a cave to travel down that never ends to get out. You walk and walk and run and scream and walk and scream and collapse and run harder but nothing ever changes and you're in the dark abyss for as long as you can remember. Two wires seem to be pulling at you're feet and arms, keeping you in place while you try and run away from them. That's the abuser. They keep you there with fake solace at first and kind words. And then they let you go and clamp down on you again just as you get a little sense of hope.
Like a said, abuse is a tricky thing. And I'm going to tell you my story of forcing those wires off. One way, or another.

Chlorine

Something else tricky is moving on from abuse. You never know all the little things you have to look out for, the little things they drilled into you and scarred you with. The little things you might never do again because of them. The things you never knew but everyone else thinks is normal. Well however hard it is to recover, it's better than being back in that monsters grasp, right? Right. The trick to all this trickiness? Love. I got love from my mothers but something.. something is missing. And from this move because of court- I think I've found exactly who it is I'm missing.