He Cares 💕

Chapter 8

TW: Self Harm

"Ethan! Sweetheart!" her vision blurred as she called out the words, her eyes searching the darkness around her for his face. "ETH-an" She called louder this time, but her voice gave out under her weakness. No matter which way she turned blackness swallowed her, no sign of Ethan anywhere. She could feel water flush between her toes, had they forgotten her? Maybe the hospital was flooding and she was stuck in her room because everything was locked up. But as her hands searched for the bed she should've been lying in, or the chair Ethan should have been resting in, coldness grabbed her hands as nothing came in contact with them. Where she was, all she felt was her feet beating against the wet floor and the slight breeze that flowed around. "ETHAN! HEL-p, help me, please" She was screaming now because she missed him, she needed him. Her voice couldnt carry out the full sentence, she was short-breathed and weak. Her body folded over till she was crouched on the floor, her head buried deep beneath her knees. She had tears streaming down her puffy face, red from the irritation of the hospital gown she had stuffed into her face. The warmth and presence of someone else made her lift her head to see Ethan standing next to her. His face not concerned but annoyed. She had tears everywhere and was a mess, but she picked herself up before lunging to hug him. He took a step back quickly, then another even quicker, and then another until he was running away from her. "ETHAN DONT LEAVE, Please Ethan!" She stood there, begging for him to come back; she needed him, more than anything she needed him. He disappeared into the darkness just as Bobby and Danny appeared. They were staring at the little girl in front of them, pensive looks on their faces. "Tiffany you don't get to cry," Danny's words first, she just stared at the figures in front of her. "You lived, remember, you're the one who lived." Now Bobby was speaking at her. They seemed to grow bigger and she grew smaller. "Remember me begging to get out of there. Remember the fact I shouldn't have died,", ''Remember when I told you my 16 year olds birthday is coming up," They were both berating her as guilt was eating her away. Her fragile mindset and body were slowly breaking as nothing in that moment could get her out of the overwhelming pain she felt. "You killed us Tiffany, but you lived. You don't deserve to cry, you deserve the pain we felt." Their words became a constant echo in the small room, as it slowly got smaller and smaller, until she finally broke and one last time screamed for help. "ETHAN, PLEASE JUST HELP ME" 

It took a second for Tiffany to register the crowd she had attracted in her bedroom. Sienna sat next to her on the bed shaking her awake. Whereas Aurora stood with a glass of tea near the window. Jackie and Elijah fixed themselves at the door, staring at their wreck of a friend. "Tiff, hey! You're finally awake." Sienna stopped shaking her body, and simply turned to smile at her. "Bad dream, huh. Do you want anything?" her words flowing so easily as if whatever she just dreamt wasn't true. "I- no. Go to bed, all of you. I- i'm sorry for waking you up." Each one of them protested but she fought back, she didn't want to speak about her dream, she didn't want to even think about it. "GOD. Please stop and just go to bed." A few gasps were audible from her roommates; I guess they never thought she would snap at them. So without doubting her ways they all left Tiffany to be on her own, against their better judgment.

Once again she could feel guilt chewing at her, constantly nagging her and annoying her to the point she screamed for help. This was the third time this week she had had this dream, just everything in it felt so real. Ethan would always run away, before Bobby and Danny would begin to pick out each one of her worries, insecurities, secrets and doubts. They knew each one well and would belittle her about them. They always seemed to grow bigger than her leaving her to be the mouse the cats would play at. You would think as time went on the dreams would start to fade but they only got more vivid. It was tonight though, that her screams became very much real and woke up her roommates.

Well it started when they were deciding where she would go after being discharged. Ethan had been at her hand and foot for a week now. In the mornings he would go and get them food, even if that meant he had to walk to their favourite cafe just for a coffee in bed. He would spend the day by her side watching mass amounts of Grey's Anatomy and other questionable medical shows. They were all nonsense to Ethan, but they made her happy, so he would sit there and just observe how much she enjoyed it. A few times during the day he would leave to go do some work, even though he was using his vacation days right now. The fact he still worked when he was meant to be off annoyed her because he deserved a break just as much as she did. But he would make up for it when he got back by bringing her treats and smothering her in kisses and affection. And then at night he would sneak down to the pediatrics wing and steal her a different children's book each night to read to her as she fell asleep in his arms. Ethan said that he should take her home with him. She would be under constant supervision, and he could treat her and care for her, but her friends made a much more convincing point. If they take her home it's 4 doctors looking after her, she would be with people she is comfortable with, and would be in a place that was familiar to her. Ethan could fight back against this and list all the reasons he was a better carer for her, but at the end of the day her friends would take her home.