Charlie Brown Abducts Cam and Tristan

Tristan's Secret Crayon

It was a dark and smelly night because that stupid fat  Roberto wont soak his mammoth thighs in bleach.

Tristan decided to pop a pimple in the reflection of a car that he though was empty. It was located at the back of wholefoods in market street.

 But, as  he stared into the tinted window he saw a child. He screeched and punched through the window causing an earthquake. This disturbed the old lady that was having an orgasm walking by.

 actually it didn't happen

 because he woke up in his kitty pool filled with butterscotch. He believed it would help him grow long and voluptuous armpit dreads. That's what homeless man Peat said after reading a BuzzFeed add.

Tristan got up and saw that there were more boogers on his pillow than usual. He looked over at his leprechaun trap and found the evil dweller sucking on some nice ring dings.  Tristan was so upset that he decided to call his best chum buddy pal bucko bitch tree humping bandit Cam. 

Cam had robbed a Polly pocket factory  and was wanted in 30 countries. 

"Herrow angry face emoji" said cam answering what he thought was his phone. But it was actually a 12 dollar amazon wig he was gifted two days ago from his future girlfriend Obese Dienes. Cam didn't understand why the phone was ringing. But it stopped because it answered itself. 

"cam put down that ragged ass wig. We are going shopping" said Tristan. Cam got so excited that he started levitating in the sky and smashing his body against every object in the area. His force was so strong that it opened a black hole. Cam didn't realize he did the Charlie brown ritual. After Cam shat on a seagull he left with Tristan to go shopping.  Charlie Brown exited the black hole, licked his crusty lips and slowly started following the two.