starstruck - lrh

seventy-five.

Luke's POV:

The car ride home was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I had to fight back every urge to turn around and march right back into that house and beg for her to not go through with this. All I wanted to do was fall to my knees and do everything I possibly could to change my mind.

I used what little strength I had left to get me back to mine regardless of the fact that I feel as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest. A part of me was terrified I'd get in an accident as my eyes kept threatening to well up due to the pain soaring through me.

After all, I truly have no idea what more I could've said or done. Her decision had clearly been made and there was no convincing her otherwise as she's so fearful of the future.

And now, I've lost the best thing I've ever known.

I can't help but feel obligated to blame myself as I know this all could've been avoided if I hadn't given her such a hard time about the movie and her role with Zac Efron. If I had just encouraged her to through with the big project and abide by what the asshole had asked of her, maybe everything would be okay.

However, I know that I would've been a worse boyfriend if I didn't encourage her to get herself out of a toxic situation where she was being taken advantage of. Who knows what else they would've asked of her?

I just don't know how everything fell apart so quickly.

Everything was fine one minute, then the next, her name was tarnished and everyone started formulating their own inaccurate opinions that destroyed her. Not only did it destroy her, but it destroyed us and everything that we built in our relationship.

Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about it but go home and put every single feeling of pain down on paper.

Throwing open the door to my car, I plan to head inside with my head down with no intention of talking to anyone on the way to my room. I especially don't feel like looking at Calum who's playing such a huge role in her feelings.

So with that, I pull open the door to our place and hear the guys' laughter making me already dread their one hundred million questions I'm sure they're going to start shooting at me.

"There he is," Calum chirps from the couch. "I was about to call 911 to make sure you were still alive."

I don't humor his comment and instead walk straight towards my bedroom. If there is anyone I don't want to be around right now, it's certainly Calum.

"Good to see you too?" Calum calls.

I slam the door shut behind me, walking right to my bed in order to fight back every urge to break down right here even with all the guys home. The pain coursing through me is indescribable as I could've absolutely never imagined this to be the outcome between Haven and I.

I thought we were forever.

I clench my fist and slam it against my bed as I feel anger towards myself that I didn't do more. I should've fought harder. I shouldn't have let her get her way and instead insisted that we weren't allowed to break up. Especially as she was making a decision based on a scenario that could've potentially never happened.

God, why did I walk away?

As I feel my throat beginning to tighten, I hear the door to my room open slowly and I bite back the urge to scream at whoever it is to get the fuck away from me.

"You good, mate?" Ashton asks, his voice calm.

I don't respond as it's far from obvious that I'm anything but good. It doesn't take a genius to put the pieces together and recognize that I'm a damn disaster.