The next morning I rose with the sun. Evan laid in my bed naked, his tattoo littered skin the first thing I saw. I slipped on his button up from last night, making my way out to the balcony in my room, watching the sun rise on the beach and the waves crash onto the shore.Flashes of our passionate reacquaintance fogged my mind, my fingers tracing my lips absentmindedly.
"I love you."Evan whispered, his thrusts stopping as his eyes met mine. His thumb stroked my cheek,a soft kiss adorning my lips.
I kept his lips on mine as I tightened my legs around his hips. I tugged on his hair, our lips locked as he resumed his thrusts. Our breaths mixed as our bodies got reacquainted with one another, naturally remembering what the other liked and discovering new preferences.
I sighed as I looked out on the beach, my mind still stuck on Evan's "I love you" from last night. I didn't know what to do about that, there was a lot to be healed and talked about between us. There was nothing more that I wanted than to be able to just pick up where I left off with Evan,he was my first and only love. There was a lot of hurt and history between us,memories of our time together flooded my mind as I stared out at the beautiful waves.
I jumped at the feeling of arms wrapping around my waist,relaxing when Evan kissed the side of my neck softly.
"It's me,babe."He whispered,leaning his chin on my shoulder. We stood in silence as we watched the sunrise on the beach,the peace and quiet combined with the company was more than I could ever ask for.
"I hear you thinking,what's on your mind?"Buck spun me around,his large hands cupping my face. "You can tell me anything,kitten."He smiled teasingly,using my old pet name.
"Buck. There's something you should know."I grabbed his hands,squeezing them softly. "It's a lot but I want you to promise that you won't hate me."I sniffled,pulling his hands from my face and led him inside.
We sat on my bed,his cerulean eyes watching my slowly pull the sonograms from my purse. "When we were filling out our college applications,I-"I wiped away the tear that fell from my eye as I handed him the picture. "I was pregnant."I sniffed,watching him hold the picture. His beautiful eyes filled with tears,his thumb stroking the picture softly.
"What happened? What happened to our baby?"He wiped at his eyes,sniffling softly.
"I lost the baby when I was almost 2 months."I sighed,feeling the tears sting at my eyes again.
He pulled me into his arms as a sob wracked through my body,he rubbed my back soothingly as I cried into his chest. It felt good to finally let out the hurt and sadness I carried all this time,both of us finally working through a sadness we didn't get to go through together.
"Why didn't you tell me?"He whispered,laying down with me on his chest.
"I wanted to Buck. I wanted to tell you so badly. Before I lost the baby,I had found out where you were. But when it happened,I couldn't tell you. I couldn't put you through that hurt."
"I wish I could've been there,been there for you when you needed me the most. I'm so sorry."He kissed my forehead softly,playing with my hair soothingly. We cried together,slowly falling asleep in each other's embrace.
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The next few days were quite peaceful. Buck had made it his mission for us to spend as much time as possible together between our busy shifts. Slowly we made our way back to mending our broken relationship and building a stronger one on top of it. We hadn't exactly defined what we were, but we didn't need to put a label on what we knew so clearly. I hadn't told him why exactly I had moved from New York but there was a part of me that wanted to protect him from the danger I was running from.
