Sarah banged her fist against the White House doors. "TED! COHEN! I know you're in there!"
She huffed outside, meanwhile the guards guarding the White House looked at her confusedly.
Sarah heard a muffled "coming!" Through the door.
"HURRY UP." Sarah screamed, quickly growing red.
Ted Cruz opened the door, wearing a white bathrobe and some lightning McQueen slippers. He smiled at her, but the corners of his mouth went too high,his smile becoming slightly inhuman.
"Sweet Sarah, I wasn't expecting you..." Ted Cruz wheezed, his breathing coming faster and faster. "I can't believe you came all the way to my house to see me...."
"I'm not here to see you butter boy," Sarah said looking him up and down.
Ted frowned. "Then why are you here?"
"I may have... a business opportunity," explained Sarah. "One that you and Cohen may have an interest in."
At this, Ted's smile made itself known again. And if Sarah thought it was scary before, now it was even worse. His brown razor sharp teeth began to stick out between his lips, and the corners of his mouth almost reached his eyes. The air began to smell of rotting flesh.
"What is that smell?" Sarah asked, pinching her nose.
"It is my happiness pheromone," replied Ted Cruz.
"Okay," Sarah stated flatly. "Do you wanna hear about my business plan or no?"
"Yes..." Ted whispered, rubbing his hands together like an evil fly. "Why don't we go get Cohey-poo and have a chat in the Oval Office?"
Sarah had never been in such an ugly building. Ted led her through the White house halls, looking back at her every once in a while with a constipated smile. It made Sarah uncomfortable, so instead she focused on the decorations. To her left, she saw ten tv's mounted on the wall, similar to how a security setup would look. Except, they were all playing different epic fail videos, or kids getting hurt compilations. To her right, there was a framed picture of Matthew Morrison.
"I see you're looking at Matthew Morrison.... Isn't he just a cutie patootie. Such an entertaining and funny young man."
Sarah agreed, and for a second, she thought that Scott would too. No, she can't be having these thoughts.... '"What Scott did was terrible and unforgivable," she thought. "So why am I still trying to forgive him?"
Sarah and Ted reached a large door with a big Miranda Cosgrove picture on it. Wow, it was even signed. Sarah became increasingly jealous while staring at the poster. Maybe if she had just stayed with Cohen, she too could have enjoyed owning a signed Miranda Cosgrove poster. Really, it's not fair that Ted gets to see this poster everyday instead of her, because as far as she knew he didn't even like Miranda Cosgrove. These thoughts lead to other thoughts, and finally Sarah started thinking about her other baby that she sent off to the orphanage.... What is that baby doing today? Probably not much because it was probably only like four years old, but she still wondered.
"Cohey-poo," Ted Cruz cooed. "Get off of the toilet, our sweet Sarah is here."
There was silence from beyond the door, like he was wondering if what he heard was true.
"Really? Is she here willingly, Teddy-wipe?" Cohen's muffled voice said.
"Yes poopoo boy, she is!" Ted said through his grin.
Cohen ran out of the room immediately, slamming the door behind him. He was still wearing his furry tail, but he had obviously been crying all day. He looked like he was going to throw up out of joy, which made Sarah step back a little.
"Sweet sweet Sarah.... Whatever made you come back?" he said. He sounded like he'd been smoking a pack a day.
"I want something from you..." She started. Cohen looked hopeful. "From both of you." His face fell a little bit.
"Well, come with me then." Ted's nasally voice sang behind them.
After they had all settled in to the oval office, Sarah was starting to feel uneasy. Maybe she was taking things too far.... No. There was no way. If Scott was going to cheat on her, then she was going to make his life as miserable as the time before she discovered kpop. And there was only one way to do that.
"Gentlemen, I have a proposition for you." They looked on hopefully. "I want you... to help me ruin Scott's life."
They both turned to her, obviously interested.
"And what's in it for us?"
Sarah sighed. She knew this was coming.
"I'll...I'll become a furry!" She cried. This was not the path she wanted to go but she was willing to do it for revenge.
Cohen and Ted looked at her with shock. They turned towards each other with excitement in their eyes. They started hardcore smiling, and soon Ted's happiness pheromone was in the air again.
"We have just the idea," Ted began, his eyes blinking sideways.
"No way, we're doing this my way." Sarah stated firmly.
"Okay, but no promises that we won't do whatever we have to to ruin his life," Cohen said, his eyebrows raising up and down.
"Whatever fatties, just make him pay." Sarah snickered. Her plan was finally in action.
