Open Door Critiques [CLOSED]

📜 Old Critiques | 12/11/2020

[HALF OPEN DOOR] for lynnolise
• For the most part, firm grasp of grammar and sentence structure, offering smooth readability!
• May need to reexamine their use of the figurative language of personification.
• Disconnect between the desired tension versus what the readers already know.

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FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE: PERSONIFICATION

The brook babbled. The stars winked. The tulips nodded their heads in the breeze. I adore personification to the moon and back, and I can tell you do too! But you may have missed an important fact when it comes to personification. 

Consider this with me:

We all know what a babbling brook sounds like. It isn't actually mumbling or speaking, but the sound of the waters rolling over the stones sounds very akin to babbling. So, when we say something as nonsensical as 'babbling brook,' our minds are still able to make the connection.

Stars have no eyes, and so are unable to wink, but we've all seen stars twinkling in the night in a way that's very akin to winking. So, again, our minds are at home with the connection.

Tulips don't really have heads, or the ability to nod, but when you look at them bobbing in the wind, well. The action looks very much like the nodding of heads!