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Lying in Bed

Title: Lying in Bed
Genre/s: Semi-mystery, Fiction, Angst
Info:
- N/A
Warnings:
- Implied Death
- Implied Negative Feelings
- Implied Overdose of Pills

My glazed eyes scanned the yellow ceiling that seemed so out of reach that it hurt, hurt so darn much.
Having no idea how you're gonna get to your goal, or goals, is so deadly - it can kill, and it has killed.
My thoughts swam in the deafening ocean called 'my brain', negativity swimming along side it as if the thunder wasn't even there.

I always tried so hard to make life better for myself, always, but it never worked.
'Yellow is a happy colour' is what they say, but, I tried to make my room happy - and it didn't work.
Joyfulness is impossible in my world, even when I help others, since I can't really help myself.
My space was lightly furnished, a table and two empty shelfs (which were cleaned out recently) being the only real things there.
The dirty white wardrobe was built into the wall, the door to my room closed to the left of it - if anyone had entered my room then and there, they would've been facing a dying person who's bed was parallel to the closed window.
I once opened the window, desperate for the healing wind to flow in, but it didn't work - medicine doesn't work for everyone.

The plain blanket overtop of my legs seemed to do nothing in keeping me warm, in fact, it probably was making me colder.
The lights in my room were on, yellow illuminating the area as my eyes slowly blinded themselves from the bright deadly glow.
Granted, having too little light in my room would get me to trip over and bash my head on something - but having too much would blind me, well, it kinda was already blinding me, but eh.

My arms were numb, white long sleeves covering by bare and tan skin - tan from the sheer amount of outdoor time I give myself as a way of trying to cope with the stress.
"The stress from what?" someone may ask, but all I would say is;
"Life".
Reaching my arm out would murder it (via blood loss), and my dreams, so getting myself murdered first would probably be better.

The panging pain in my neck didn't stop, it was cold - really cold, freezing even.
Chills climbed up my spine and 'hang out' around my neck, most of the time, the rest of the time my neck was just dying internally.
Keeping my head up is a pain in both the back and the front side, however I mask up the front side with the "I help other's and I'm really smart" mask from the store - it's only worth your entire life, nothing much.

I have been taking a few types of pills for the past month or so, trying to fix certain parts of me that I would rather not talk about - however as I said before, medicine doesn't work for everyone.
My head was banging up and down, the waves crashing against my skull, my eyes loosing control of what I saw and my mouth going as dry as the Sahara desert.
Suddenly, as another bolt of scream enlisting lightning struck my heart - everything went silent, black and cold.
Cold, and lifeless.