Just Sleep

5. They Look Like They're Fading...

This whole chapter takes place in the Dreamscape...
E/N - Ex's Name (I always just call them en, pronounced like Ian, because I dont have a mean ex... 🤣)

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"Wasn't very nice? D-did he... did he hurt you...?" He trails off as he asks and I keep looking at the ground, watching the waterfall of tears rush down my face and fall on the floor at my feet. "Y/N... I wanna help you, and I cant if you dont tell me what happened Sugar." My breathing hitches and I continue to sob, he sighs and sits on the floor, pulling me into his lap and wrapping his arms around me. I bury my head in his shoulder and he rubs comforting circles on my back as a flashback overtakes me...

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The door was slammed shut and I jump, sitting on the couch of the small apartment waiting for the worst part of my day. E/N stepped in front of me on the couch "hey, baby~" he slurred and I could smell alcohol on his breath. I look away from him and he roughly grabs my chin, forcing me back to him and up from the couch. "Dont ignore me bitch!" He yelled and shoved me up against the wall, I cry out and tears run down my face. He raises his hand and I flinch, he chuckles darkly as he sees this, he leans forward to my ear "good, now. Wheres my dinner slut?" He asks, holding my wrists above my head on the wall "m-microwave..." I stutter out through tears and he smirks letting go of me and dropping me to the floor. I hear the microwave start up as he heats his food, soon sittin down on the couch and clicking on the tv while eating.

The flashback ends and another takes over.

"E/N?" I ask and he only let's out a small hum in response, "do you even love me?" It was after a particularly rough beating, he didnt even come home drunk... he just felt like it. "Of course, c'mere Y/N..." I knew it wasnt true, but I fell for it anyways, walking over to the couch and climbing into his arms. Later that night, the yelling resumed, I never even knew what I had done. One minute I was sleeping peacefully in bed, the next I was slammed against the wall by an angry E/N. "You stupid whore! What were you doing with him?" He yelled and I jumped, "I dont know what your talking about." I said it quietly "Dont play dumb bitch!" His hand made contact with my face and I screamed, falling to the floor. "You cheating whore! This is why no one wanted you!" As he said it, he stomped out of the apartment, slamming the front door. I got up of the floor and walked into the bathroom, looking for my old friend. I found it hidden in the back of the medicine cabinet, a pack of razors, I pulled one out and sat on the floor, across from the sink. I let tears rush down my face as I ran the blade across my wrist, "I deserve this.. I deserve pain.." I whisper repetitively to myself. Eventually I get bored with my wrist and pull up the long shirt I was wearing and start on my thighs; this time, not just carving lines, but words as well. "Slut" "bitch" "whore" "worthless" "stupid" "naive" all of which E/N had unaffectionately called me. The lines all crossed together and if you weren't actually looking, you wouldnt even realize there were words. I eventually pass out from blood loss, hoping I would die.

~end flashbacks~

My tears had slowed down and I pulled my face from his shoulder, he brought a hand up to my face and gently swiped the tears away with his thumb. "Can you please tell me Sugar..." he trails off as he asks and I nod slowly, catching my breath and composing myself. "M-my ex. E/N, wasn't very nice..." I trail off and he tilts his head "did he hit you?" He asks quietly and I nod, telling him about the events of the flashbacks, while looking at the ground. "Oh sugar, I'm so sorry..." he says, keeping his hand on my cheek, I lean into his palm and a few small tears escape my eyes. "Its okay... I deserved it," he looks at me with wide eyes "no! No one deserves to be beaten and lied to like that!" His voice rises slightly as he says it and I flinch slightly at the volume and a few more tears fall. He realizes and his eyes widen, before wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my neck "No... no Sugar, dont be scared of me... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... I didnt mean to scare you.." my eyes widen, he cares? I run a hand through his hair and hug him back "it's okay," I whisper and he pulls away from me, grabbing my wrist without warning. I squeak as he does and he once again runs a thumb across the scars. I look away, a little embarrassed at him seeing them. I was still staring at the floor when I felt his lips make contact with my wrist, I turn back to him confused as he whispers "your so beautiful Y/N." I smile lightly as he places a kiss on a spot a little higher on my wrist, another scar "and talented..." I look away from him and to the floor once more; another scar, "so sweet.." he continues until he's planted a kiss on every scar on my wrist. He gently sets my arm down and kisses my forehead gently, "c-can I see the other ones?" He asks and look back to him, nodding slowly. He carefully grabs the hem of the oversized shirt I had put on before going to sleep, and gently moved it so the scars were no longer covered. He frowned, tracing a finger over some of the scars before looking back up to me "now, not a single one of these are true." He places his hand on my cheek and I once again lean into his palm, "thank you..." I whisper and he wipes away a tear I hadn't even realised had fallen. I open my eyes to look back at him, only to find myself staring at my dresser across from me. I woke up...

I roll out of bed and lay on the floor for a second, before walking into the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror, I raise my hand up to swipe some hair out of my face and catch a glimpse of my wrist, now scar free. My eyes widen and look away from the mirror and directly at my wrist "what the fuck?" Just then I feel a pair of arms wrap gently around my waist and a whisper against my ear "one more day Sugar..." I turn, expecting to see Gerard, only to be met with nothing.