.weighted. //frerard

.blood infections.

GERARD's POV

The car shrieked as I pumped the brakes, pulling into a gravel parking lot that was clearly unkempt. It was a good place to hide out until I could get farther away. People who knew me were familiar with the fact that I hated dirty and disgusting places, and this place was just that. Looking down at the dashboard behind the wheel, I caught a glimpse of the red needle just barely hitting the bottom of the fuel gauge before the car sputtered and shut off. 

With the harsh fall wind whipping my face and turning my skin cold, I stumbled out of the car and stretched, taking in the half-lit "Motel" sign at the corner of the lot. I took into account that I was now out of gas and had nowhere to get it as a sign that I'd be here for awhile. I wouldn't have minded that much as long as the place I was stuck at was clean. 

This place was not the most ideal spot to have run out of fuel, but it was the farthest I could get from where I started out, and that was enough for me. 

Soon enough the door shut behind me with a small cloud of dust and a bell that chimed, signalling my arrival to whoever was supposed to be in charge of this run down Motel. I started to get impatient while waiting for someone to come to the desk, but my rude thoughts were quickly cut off by a man wearing eyeliner and a jean jacket. He wasn't dressed too bad considering the status of the place we were standing in. 

"Welcome to the Moonlit Motel, do you have a room booked?" the man spoke in sweet voice, which only made me more attracted to him. I wasn't supposed to think about that at this time though so I shook the thoughts away and replied in a shaky voice. 

"Uh no," I started, "but my car just ran out of gas so... I'm here.." I let out a nervous laugh and continued when the man simply looked at me curiously. "Uh- I mean I have money so- Uh.. I'm bad at this sorry, are there any open rooms?" I finally managed to pull the words out of my throat and spit them up into the air in front of me. They hung there for a moment while the man contemplated something I wasn't sure of, then the silence was broken when he chuckled and nodded. It captured me for a moment, his smile, but I was quickly brought out of my thoughts once more as he spoke again. 

"Room 8, you can pay by the night if you'd like," he whispered, "its cheaper." he smiled again and leaned in "But don't tell Patrick I said that."

Clearly a flirt, made obvious by the fact that my face had been dusted a light pink, I laughed. "It's our secret."

 I payed him for the first night I was staying and started out for my room before he called out, "I'm Pete by the way." 

I smiled back and gave him a small wave, "Gerard."

-x-x-x-

FRANK's POV

The harsh lights forced open my eyes as the habitat around me grew louder, as if startled by my awakening.  The nurses flooded around me, checking every vital and sticking more needles in me until all I wanted to do was scream and make them go away. 

It took a moment, but as soon as they were finally all gone and I was left in this rickety hospital bed with nothing but my own thoughts, I found a piece of paper by my side. It was marked the same recognizable way as always... the date on the outside with a small X beside it. I never really took the time to notice his handwriting. Messy, but with a scrawl that was somewhat admirable, of course it reflected his own personality perfectly. 

My hands started to shake as I came to the conclusion that I had to open it sooner or later... Or did I? This could just be some cruel letter saying it was better off that I had been killed and that he wishes I didn't get help. I wouldn't be surprised. 

Taking a moment to think, I realized that I knew Gerard was an asshole, but not a sociopath right? Knowing someone really did die because of him, that would follow him around forever and he's too greedy to want that on his so-called "perfect" moral record. 

Hands still trembling a small amount, I opened the note. It had been so long since I actually opened one, the harsh words of the first few being burned into my mind so far that it hurt to continue reading them (hence why I started stashing them in the box under my bed).

I kicked myself for stalling and just decided to get it over with, not believing my eyes as the letters swirled together in front of me, leaving me with a notion I was scared to face. 

The letter read, 

"Frank,

I wish we never met. I wish I had never become this person, and I wish I could take away the pain I caused you for so long. I've done awful things to you and I'm sorry you ever had to know someone like me. I wish you did know me. I wish I could just see your eyes again and tell you why I did everything. But now, I can't. You can't have me in your life anymore, and you should never have to deal with me or see me again.

You probably know my secret now that its all been shared. I should have never written those notes. For what I did to you, I don't deserve for you to keep my secret any longer. I'm surprised you did for so long, I wouldn't have. You are such a kind hearted person and you never deserved me.

I hope you can get better, Frankie. I hope you'll forget me."

My heart started pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat, and a sick feeling overcame my insides. It felt like my chest was filled with acid and that I could throw up at any time. He was fucking leaving? Just like that? Gone? 

The sick feeling in my stomach only became worse when I read the letter over again. 

"You probably know my secret now that its all been shared..." I said aloud in a whisper that may have been barely audible to anyone but me. The realization washed over me and I scrambled to grab the phone from the side table. Dialing my mom's number I could hear my own heart beating. 

"Hello?" I heard her speak from the other end after a moment

"Hey mom?"

"Sweetie, is everything okay?"

"Yes'm everything's good, well, okay maybe? but please can you bring that box under my bed to me? Please?"

"Um.. yes? I'll be right over.."

"Thank you, I love you." 

With that, I hung up the phone and waited for her to get here. I need to find answers and I swear to god I need them right now.