Fake🖤

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~This is another random stupid thing i made while having a mental breakdown heh. Its all so random, messed up, swears and such are there sooooo. Its nothing related to tk or ff. Boring and meaningless actually, ik. It really doesn't have a topic or means anything at all. I actually don't think anyone will be interested but eh. I will just drop this here and go. Now bye
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Sometimes a smile or laugh can be fake. Sometimes an act can be all fake. I mean its an act after all. Sometimes a cry can be fake too.

But what most people don't know is a whole personality, can be fake.

You don't always show people your true colors. Your true smile. Your true laugh. Your true sob. Even your true frown.

Every expression and emotion can be fake.

Your happiness, sadness, madness, eagerness, excitement, nervousness, seriousness, frustration, every emotion; all can be fake.

Its not always true, what you see, hear, or even say yourself.

You can't trust every article made about random people or celebrities, stories and moments, children or adults. All may be lieng or faking.

How can you trust someone?

I don't know...

That is why am like this. Have trust issues. Never trust a person.

Yes that is normal. Every normal person have trust issues from strangers. But you can't really have them from your very close ones right?

Maybe am wrong. But maybe am right.

I just have a question from all this useless shit am saying.

Why do people judge?

Always judging by skin color, age, face, body shape, way of clothing, walk, smile and even personality.

Which is normal but at the same time not.

Its all so fucking complicated. Everything.

Its all so frustrating and fucking tiring.

Its tiring to always be stressed, sad, frustrated. Tiring; always feeling hatred to your own self.

Tiring to always feel self conscious.  Tiring to always hate your fucking self every second or every freaking day.

Tiring to always get up in the morning feeling like fucking shit. Only to continue your day feeling such. Like fucking shit.

Changing your cloths 100 times only togo out feeling 1-% satisfied with your outfit and look.

Walk the streets while biting your lip and playing with your fingers and nails from nervousness. Eyes moving around as if you're getting followed. Feeling like every person's eyes are on you only. Judging and staring at your ugly self.

Walking fast then slow. Slow then fast. Not knowing which pace is the right one.

Arms moving from your sides to the front, then to the pockets of your pants, again to the side. Then to pockets of your hoodie.

Moving right then turning left. Going past the car but then dumping into a person.

Lowering your shoulders to try and be invisible only to remember your parent's words about having to be walk straight so you straighten your shoulders and back. Only to feel as if you're showing off and lower again.

Putting your hair infront of your face to cover it; bangs or long hair. Then realizing your can't fucking see. Bring your hair out of your face to feel over exposed as if everyone can see your naked self. As if you are so exposed to judgment.

Put a hoodie on your head but think you may look over depressed so you take it off. Lower your cap only to feel like a freak.

Lowering your whole head; "head up high honey" mom says.
Lifting your head high; "So much" my inner voice says.

Wtf

I can fucking hear a voice in my head.

No believed me when i told them.

"Stop being desperate for attention" they say. "Stop overreacting" they say. "You're fucking crazy" they say. "Hahaha" they say.

Judging.... Never believing...

Biting your lip until you taste blood from it... close your fist around the bag strips until its white and some blood gets on your nails.

You even fucking feel the pain. Too nervous and scared to...

Scared.... Terrified....

Hate it.... hate it all....

Seeing the school gates as hell gates... 

Not because of the school and studying itself....

..Here we go again.....

Am fucking tired.

That all was only the way to school. There is whole day ahead of us. Full of happiness of course heheh 😁

You dan tell the sarcasm there no? Pfft. Of course not!

I mean what is better than school dude!? What can be better than a whole fucking day in school full of fucking bullies and stupid fucking people to fuck up you fucking day 😁

Fun right? I KNOWWWWWW!!! SO FUN😆

For fuck's sake...

Wait... is anyone even reading this? Or any of my other random crazy 🖤 stories i make as tk? I mean some who read my last couple of oneshots said that they can feel the realness and emotions in the stories yk.

Some say they are there if i want something or someone to talk to. I really appreciate and respect these people. I thank ever one of them, from the bottom of my heart.

Blahhhhhh now am tired. Its only 9:17 p.m. And i slept 3 or 4 hours this afternoon but am still tired... Mentally not physically tho °>°
I don't even know why i did this?

Does i want attention? Do i just want to remove things off my shoulders? Does i want people to comment on it about how they feel about this all? Or do i just did this for fun and am actually alright? I actually don't fucking know :) i think amma delete this in the morning idek heh

And yes. I purposely wrote does :) live with it :) i don't care to think right now actually :) I just want to sleep forever. At least I won't need to think about nothin ~>~ wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep :)






But hey pssst! Psst! If anyone read this, pretend you didnt. Ok? Done? Ok now bye♡

 Ok? Done? Ok now bye♡

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