Mate of the Sand (Gaara's Neko sequel)

Mate of the Sand Chapter 19

I know it's been a long time already, but the wedding will be in one of the next two chapters, I'm as impatient as anyone.  Sorry for the dark tones lately, I'm just trying to show how she's changed.  She's not going to be so morbid forever, but you have to understand that she's scared, possibly for the first time in her life.  I have a rough plan for how this is going to go, I'd say it could be anywhere from forty to sixty chapters before I'm all out of ideas, but I won't know until I get there.  Anyhow, Wraith-chan loves you all.

___________________________

When I wake up, I feel the heat radiating from Gaara.

Ko is there too, but it's Gaara's heat that I notice.

He's usually gone when I wake up.

Still, he's not touching me.

It's all falling apart.

I stretch, getting out of bed.

For once, I have a mission.

A weak one, yes, but it's a mission.

Only a C-rank.

I get to escort a merchant to our closest neighboring village.

You could practically see it from here.

It's funny.

I have more freedom now than I ever have before, yet I feel so trapped.

This isn't like me.

Or is it?

I'm not sure anymore.

Before, I accepted anything and expected nothing.

I still expect nothing, but I yearn for so much more.

Does that make me greedy?

As I make breakfast, I contemplate this.

The answer to that is another thing I don't know.

Did I use to be so questioning?

No, I guess I wasn't.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

But, I guess I'll have a lifetime to figure that out.

Do you see what I did there?

...I'm so cold.

Not physically, but emotionally.

Mentally.

Although, I suppose cold isn't the word.

More like that feeling you get when you're in shock.

Dazed and dead, but not quite unaware.

You feel like staring at your own hands.

Not for any particular reason, perhaps that they're real.

That even if the rest of the world is a hallucination, your hands are really there.

I sound so morbid.

But I guess the numbness means I'm not thinking, it's mostly instinct.

And people tend not to be cheery when they thrive on instinct.

And nekos have more than most, I suppose.

Humane.

The word makes me laugh, I have to say.

Is a human really much more than an animal?

No, they're a species of animal.

As are cats and dogs.