The Girl At The Lake

Chapter 5

Her legs felt like led nailed to the ground, she knew she wasn't special but was she really that much of a failure?
She didn't want to go home, so instead she went and found her lake. She felt like everyone knew, that everyone was staring at her with disgust, even the trees. She dropped to the ground and sighed, bringing her knees into her chest.
"Why am I like this? Why me?" She wondered aloud.
She felt cursed, like she was carrying a permanent spell that she couldn't control, one that had claimed her life as its own and created her a public label saying she was a freak.

"I'm not so special, the world would still turn without me here.I don't even think anyone would care, just a pat on the back and a hug then back to their day" she told herself.
"You should do it, you'll be helping everyone, one less freak in the world" she muttered.

She peered down at her reflection, a young innocent girl stared back at her. It was a mask, a lie, what was really inside was a beaten neglected monster that was worn out and ready for their heart to give out. Mirrors lie, they show only what's on the surface, someone could so easily lie about something. That's all mirrors truly show, a person's lies, they'll never reveal a person's true self. We believe it, we look into the mirrors and think that must be us, we don't think about what's deeper. People ignore it so we assume it's not important, the only important thing is what a mirror shows.

She wanted to leave, to escape. Nobody was here to tell her to stay, she doesn't know why she stays, she just has a small piece of hope buried deep under years and years of growing pain that things do get better, that everything heals. She'll cling to that hope until she reaches the worst of the worst, until then she still has a life to look forward to.

The sun was still shining bright in the sky, she laid down and stared up at it. She didn't speak, just listened to everything the world had to say. Numb, that's all she felt.
She didn't feel pain anymore, she didn't feel anything. Just a permanent numb feeling consuming all of her emotions, killing her slowly from inside out.
No reason to smile, no reason to cry, no reason to breathe.

Was the world really better off without her?...