So.
I came here to say something.
But now that I'm here...
OH SHIT
I went to go buy Minecraft today (one of the best and most imaginative games i've ever played btw)
but it wouldn't let me.
I was using one of my parents cards to buy it because I didn't have enough money on my card to get it so yeah.
Well the card wasn't working so by looking through the forums I found out that the majority of people who play Minecraft don't pay for it with a card, they use paypal.
So my step-mom was like "I have one of those, you can use that." So i was like :D
but then when I went to go log on she was all "Wat. I don't know my password!"
so I had to go and recover that.
once recovered and in her paypal account I discovered that her paypal account balance was $0.00
I realized that her paypal account had yet to be linked with her bank account.
So I went to go log on to her online banking account and then she's like "Wat. I don't know my username or password!"
So I had to go and recover that.
In order to do that, It had to identify her.
That's understandable, you know, fraud prevention and whatnot.
SO one of the ways that the bank confirms your identity is with your SSN.
So I get her SSN and am trying to put the numbers in, only...
IT WOULDN'T FUCKING LET ME PUT THE FIRST THREE NUMBERS IN!
it's like "Please type the first three numbers of your SSN here"
and I was like "1", "2", ...........("..." means that I was pushing "3" but it wasn't showing up in the text box provided.
so even though it was like "Please type the first three numbers of your SSN here" I was like "I WOULD FUCKING LOVE TO IF YOU WOULD ONLY LET ME YOU WHORE!"
yeah.
I just realized that I would love to be an asshole.
not in the literal sense.
in the figurative sense.
I would love to be able to walk around in my underwear with nothing but a freaking Captain's hat on.
I want to be able to walk around the streets butt-fraking-naked and when people yelled at me, I would flip them off and chuck an egg at them.
I want to go to a concert and get piss-drunk, climb on stage, whip out my wank and let flow a stream of molten gold.
I want to go crazy.
... I just realized...
I want to be a rock star... without the music deal.
yeah!
What do you say Wattpad?
You guys write and preform all the music, and I'll go to all the parties and public appearances.
Good deal?
fuck yeah good deal.
you know what word I love?
fuck.
it has a sort of blunt power to it.
but also a piercing sting at times.
like a club... with a nail it in.
I love rootbeer.
I hate actual beer.
you would think that having similar names that they would also taste a bit similar...
no.
they don't.
why?
Why do I write all my journals in separate lines?
after every line I press enter.
why do I do this?
WHY?
Meh
I dun care.
so...
what now?
you know what is gross and delicious at the same time?
Pickles.
they look like shriveled green warty penises and yet... they taste so good.
oh snap girl.
I saw that guy looking at you.
I saw him looking right at your elbows.
girl do you moisturize?
I don't even fraking know.
I'm bored as (read this, but make your voice deeper for the "u"s and then bring it back up to normal for the "ck") fuuuuuck
did you do like I said?
THAT IS THE POWER OF BRAIN-CONTROL!
I AM NOW IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF YOUR BRAIN!
THAT'S RIGHT, LAUGH!
I release you from my almighty power of brain-control.
