Odd topic for one of my first posts, but it's necessary seeing as what happened a few days ago.
I learned in my English class about the shooting at Sandy Hook elementary. I will admit I cried. Sorry, women do that. I wanted to talk about it, even if it may be considered a taboo or something. If you don't want to read it, skip it.
Anyway, after the initial shock, utter confusion, and good ol' rage, I began to wonder why someone would do that. Watching it as they tried to figure out what the hell just happened only made it more confusing with all the theories that came through.
Sobering is the right word for it.
With the Columbine incident, the two kids Eric and Dylan were extremely lonely and misunderstood. Eric was angry at the world while Dylan just wanted to be loved. It’s probably what both of them wanted.
I’m wondering if this is the same driver that cause this Adam Lanza to do the same. He was only twenty, so maybe my dad’s theory of not knowing who you are until around twenty-five was right. I’m not sure if this is correct-they are changing the information all the time on the news-but it seems that his mother was a gun fanatic and took him and his brother to shooting ranges. It also seems he was a quiet boy who spent his time playing video games. Add on to that the fact he was also Autistic.
I find it strange to think someone who did something like that is so alike to me and my siblings. My brother fits the description perfectly, but I truly believe he would never even think of hurting children. We’re not extremely Autistic anyway, just enough where our social behaviors are affected. Me and my brother both don’t really have friends while my little sister is the opposite with many of them. I could argue she is crazy though. Eleven year olds are all crazy though right?
Now I’m distracted again. The point is that we are similar, but very different. This Adam guy grew up around guns, while my own parents are firmly against them. Parents really do affect everything, but ultimately it's the child's choice. Maybe I’m too quick to pin the blame on the mother for the gun thing, but seeing as she isn’t here anymore to question, I may tentatively do just that.
With the Columbine kid’s parents, they had no idea that would happen and certainly put the blame on themselves for it. Really though, I think it was their kids who made the decision. They were sound of mind, (seriously, if you don’t believe me, go look at the police investigation or better yet read some of their diary entries) and they really thought a lot about it before doing it.
They wanted to change the system. I don’t under any circumstances condone what they did, but they did do something.
Adam Lanza may have tried to do the same. Why after those innocent children though? It truly makes me sick. Putting aside those humane feelings for a moment, (Please don’t kill me for that, I’m trying to see some sort of reason in this. Perhaps it’s just for my own purposes though), my own opinion is that he had been in a deep hole for a long time before this.
It seems that he just snapped. Did something happen to make him go over the edge? He and his mom had a fight and that did it for him? We might never know even why he went to that school. It could have been for the sympathy it would generate.
It could have been for a drastic change.
I’m starting to feel sick talking about this again. Can’t really put aside those feelings of utter horror for long enough to make a sensible judgement. More likely than not, there’s nothing sensible about this anyway.
Before I go, I want to say I cannot even express in words how I feel for the kid’s parents and siblings. It must be unbearable for them, and I’m not even a parent. I guess I don’t have to be. If you’ve ever loved someone truly and without doubt, you know that you can’t even begin to imagine the pain of losing them like that. I won’t even go into what those poor children went through.
I don’t care what your religion is, I know anyone would hope they are resting in peace.
I don’t care what your political viewpoints are either, but I think the President put it best- "Our hearts are broken today."
My heart goes out for them and everyone in the world who’s heart is broken.
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“Don't be ashamed to weep; 'tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.”
― Brian Jacques, Taggerung
