Yamayama (Kageyama x Yamaguchi)

5

Tsukishima Kei.

If one thing that he was absolutely bad at, was understanding his own feeling. He know that he have always been in love with his childhood friend, Yamaguchi. So when he got confessed by, of course he accepted it.

But then, when they entered highschool, he met this certain tangerine, and he felt incredibly attracted to him. Is this lust? He thought.

It's started with mocking him, seeing the tangerine being offended, he thought it was cute. That's all is it, until one day, he felt the urge to kissed him, and it all began.

He never had the urge to kiss Yamaguchi, why him?

Something about Hinata turned him on. He didn't know that a small kiss could turn into them being friends with benefit.

What make it worser is that, he never felt guilty doing this to Yamaguchi.

When the first time Yamaguchi ditch their date, he didn't felt anything, until the first time Yamaguchi stopped using the name, "Tsukki."

He felt a pang in his heart, something that he didn't expected to happened. The jealousy when he saw him getting closer to Kageyama. He had to forced a kiss on him because of the jealousy.

Or when he saw Yamaguchi coming to the practice with swollen eyes, his heart feel pain. It became more painful when he saw Kageyama runnimg after him.

He should the one running after him, not making him cry. He brushed all the feeling off by coming to Hinata's house that day.

Another thing he didn't expected was Yamaguchi breaking with him at the morning. The feeling of Yamaguchi not beinf with him hurts him.

At the same time, he felt like he didn't have the right to chase after him when he walked away. Again, he brushed the feeling off by going to the infirmary with Hinata to distracted himself by doing the usual same stuff.

His heart almost stopped when he saw Yamaguchi passed out in front of the infirmary. He immediately carried him to the bed, staying beside him the whole time.

His heart ache once again when he saw Yamaguchi's scared expressiom when he saw him, and how his face light up when he saw Kageyama.

"Ah, I understand now, so he's the reason, huh?", he says it out of jealousy, but deep inside, he felt like Yamaguchi deserved someone like Kageyama, not him.

"Didn't you also have fun with Hinata behind our back?"

"It's weird how you get all jealous when I talked to Kageyama considering you been cheating on me."

He didn't know why he was trying to reach his hand for him, is it to comfort him? Seeing how Kageyama being overprotective about Yamaguchi, he gave up, he won't be able to win Yamaguchi anymore.

"Yamaguchi"

Yamaguchi looked at him, the brown innocent eyes that used to belong to him.

"I promised this will be the last time, can I send you home? alone?"

At least, he wanted to apologise to him.
_________________________________________

Have walking with Yamaguchi alone have always been this awkward?

"I'm sorry.", He break the silence.

Yamaguchi looked at him with wide eyes, probably didn't expected someone like him is apologising.

"..."

"I have always been bad at feeling."

Yamaguchi know that for a fact, but that's no way to justify his action.

"I...", He wanted to says something, I love you so damn much, but I know I don't have the right to say it anymore., he wanted to says it, but in the end he didn't.

"If someday.. you're willing to forgive me, will you be my friend, again?"

Yamaguchi remained silent, and turn his back on him. "If you stopped being an asshole, maybe.", he says before he walked away.

He watches him as he dissappear from his sight.

"Kei!", a shout appeared. He turned at the direction of where the sound came from and saw Hinata.

Hinata wrapped his arm at him.

"..."

He needed it.