Marauding About In Fifth Year

He Felt Stupid

He Felt Stupid

The boys spent the rest of the night joking and discussing various pranks for the school year. Sirius continued being unusually quiet but the others ignored the behaviour. They didn't awake until around 2pm the next day, Peter the most hungover although he had only had a glass. Sirius seemed as chipper as he used to be. Remus was never much of a morning bird, whether he woke up at 6am or 8pm. He would awake tired as though he never slept. Bags never left his eyes and it normally took at least an hour til Remus was ready to communicate with anyone and an extra half an hour til he could deal with James and Sirius. So when Remus awoke he sat by the lake for an hour completely ignoring the rest. Peter usually woke up first and as soon as someone else was up he would be eagerly at there heel wanting to plan pranks or have a conversation or something else which was annoying to do when you had just opened your eyes.

'Pete, Ask me another question and i will make sure you can't ask anything ever again,' Sirius snapped as he rubbed his eyes. Him and James were barely awake, Sirius hanging off the couch and James curled up on the armchair.

'So- Sorry,' Peter stuttered before rushing out the tent and too the lake to sit with Remus. As annoyed as Remus would get, at least he wouldn't threaten him and it was better than being alone.

'Now that he's gone,' James started throwing his legs ff the side of the armchair so he was sitting properly,

'Don't you start talking, I will hex you,'

'You're full of shit Black. Besides i have a question and unless you want your answer to be repeated to Remus be grateful I have waited for him to leave,' James started as Sirius groaned loudly, 'Shut it B- Sirius,' he said quickly remembering Sirius might not like the word black consider, 'Why were you such a dick to Remus last night? Why are you ignoring and avoiding him,'

'I am not,' Sirius said firmly as James raised his eyebrow,

'Sirius you are my best mate, however the way you reacted to what Remus going on a date with Matt was horrible. I hated your tone and i'm sure it offended Rey-'

'There was nothing wrong with my tone, But can you blame me?' Sirius started regretting what he said the second he said it,

'Yes! I can blame you. There's nothing wrong with him liking boys. If you create a problem from that I wont be happy. I also think you should apologise to Remus.' James said firmly,

'I Didn't mean it like that-' Sirius started as Remus walked in seemingly annoyed, Peter looking disappointed with himself,

'You Okay?' James asked as Sirius sat up properly,

'Yes,' Peter said as James looked at Sirius with firm eyes,

'Remus I am sorry for how I acted last night, I was rude,' Sirius said, avoiding all eye contact. James smiled at him grudgingly although he wasn't too pleased with the apology.

'It is fine,' Remus said half-felt. He wasn't exactly focused on the conversation and his mind still wasn't properly awake enough for grudges yet.

As though the timing was perfect, a small owl flew into the tent as James took the letter from the owl and passed to Remus,

'From your boyfriend?' Sirius snarled as Remus gulped. To Remus the tone of Sirius sounded disapproving however James wasn't convinced. He could swear Sirius' tone was more jealous than disgusted.

'I think my mum wants me home,' Remus said wanting an excuse to get away, 'I will see you at Hogwarts, Thank you for inviting me James and Pete hope you enjoyed your birthday,' Remus said smiling to the two boys and just nodding awkwardly to Sirius before departing.

'Bye rey-' Peter said although Peter didn't get a reply. He had already left.

James didn't say anything -not wanting to with Peter right there- but he did shoot Sirius a nasty glance. He was furious. That rudeness wasn't going to be tolerated by him.

Remus walked round to an empty round in Godric's Hollow as the knight bus appeared at his feet. He hoped on and asked Ernie to take him home and didn't speak another word to anyone until he was home. He didn't even thank the drive, just a polite nod and smile. He didn't want to speak. He begged his parents wouldn't be home. He couldn't bear to speak to them right now. His friends were the only ones who had accepted him immediately no matter what and now. How they accepted his werewolfess immediately (Well Peter may have taken a week or so) but only James was fine with this. It baffled him. Peter didn't seem the most accepting person arguably but Sirius? Sirius had never been anything except kind to him and he was the first to accept him being a werewolf. James didn't seem phased when he was told but James didn't seem phased by anything. Remus had always seemed as the type of person that even if you killed him, he would find a way to understand why. James would accept him and he knew that for a fact. However he expected Sirius to be the same. He walked into the house and luckily it was empty. So he ran up the stairs and slammed his door. He threw the letter he had been clutching onto since the tent and threw it to his desk. It wasn't from Matt. It was from Lily. Lily was another accepting of anything person, much like James in that respect although Lily was a lot scarier than James if you did annoy her. He hadn't told her about the date yet, he had intended to but just hadn't. Although Lily was one of his best friends, she didn't know many of his major secrets much like he didn't know hers. He decided he didn't want to open the letter. He would later he told himself as he looked to his desk.

There was a small polaroid stuck in his book as a makeshift bookmark. The photo had been taken last year at the Sirius birthday party in the gryffindor dorm. Sirius stole Marlene's camera to take it and a hundred other photos that night. 

He did love that photo. Sirius was on James shoulders, gripping him and a bottle of firewhiskey in one hand and his other hand going behind the camera. James was squinting at the flash of the camera with Peter stood next to him. Peter was smiling from ear to ear and Remus had his hand on peter's head. He had been ruffling his hair as the photo was taken. He loved that photo. But now. He hated it. He hated the stupid grin on Sirius face. He hated how happy he looked but then, because right now Remus felt the exact opposite. The only thing he didn't seem to hate about the picture was James. James was the only one of the boys he didn't want to strangle at the minute.

Remus stared at the photo. A million thoughts in his head. Anger began filling him up as he grabbed the book and threw it across the room. The book hit a poorly hung shelf as the shelf and the three books, gel for scar smoothing and small photoframe of him and his parents all went smashing to the ground. He stood with his hands in fists for a second staring at the new destruction still not feeling as though he had done enough. He through his fist through the wall. He felt stupid. The feeling of anger felt stupid. The fact he told them felt stupid. The fact he had faith Sirius would be nice and accepting. Remus felt the epitome of stupid.

James finished cleaning up where they had been camping, Sirius had tried making converstation with him but James had blanked him. With annoyance and pettiness rushing within him, he went off to talk to peter who was just excited that for once Sirius wanted a talk and not to hex him. Even if he was the second option, peter was more than willing to be there. James wasn't exactly please with Peter either. However he felt more betrayed when it came from Sirius. He didn't understand why. His heart ached for Remus and he felt absolutely awful he had to deal with their reactions. A knot of guilt also toyed within him. He probably could of said more to back Remus. He felt as though he didn't do enough. As though there might of been something he could say to make Remus feel better.