Limerence; Draco Malfoy

Chapter Forty-Nine: Confessions

The moment I burst through the doors at the top of the tower, all the urgency, all the panic I'd felt running up here immediaetly blew away in the wind. For there he was: a tall figure lurking across the circular, shadowy room, still standing motionless on the wall facing away from me. My frantic heartbeat finally slowed. The adrenaline in my veins turned warm with relief.

Because for the first time in eight weeks, he was close again. He was really there. Not a ghost. Not yet.

There was a dramatic change in the air as soon as I stepped inside the room: a thin, hollow atmosphere lingered about, so dense and dreary that it felt like an icy hand was squeezing my heart.

The nightly winds that swept in through the balcony coiled around my bare arms and legs like icy chains, and after a moment of swaying breathlessly on my feet, those invisible chains started pulling me towards him. Drawing me closer, as though we were magnitised.

Luckily, the howling wind drowned out the sound of my heels so he didn't hear me approaching. Dread had snatched my breath away and made it impossible to think. All I knew was that I had to be careful about this.

If he sees me, I thought, he might panic. And if he really is serious about throwing himself off this bloody tower, then he might do so as soon as he hears somebody coming up behind him.

So I became sly and cautious, or as cautious as I could be with this much alchohol in my system. I crept right up behind him. Enough to see the smooth cut of his expensive suit. The shine to his snowy hair. Close enough for my hands to start shaking as I outstretched them, as though I was about to give a hug. A low sigh cut through the wind.

And Draco leaned one black, polished shoe off the wall, ready to step out into the thin air.

I acted quickly: throwing my arms around his waist. Pulling us back so fiercley my heel slipped on the snow, and I went crashing down - fast. A dull thud and a low curse sounded out at the impact, followed by my own startled yelp.

Draco fell on me and was now crushing every bone in my body. That weight suddenly disappeared as he rolled off, and then a second later his pale features were blinding above mine, and he was pinning me. Leaning his hands at either side of my head, resting his weight on my hips.

Our breaths swirled out in smoke as they met the freezing air. He blinked a few times, sharp eyes flickering with recognition in the darkness.

"Lockwood?" He couldn't have sounded more shocked, although his disbelief quickly switched to resentment. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"What am I doing?" I cried through chattering teeth, "What the hell to you think you're doing! You were going to jump! That's why I ran up here?"

My tongue felt heavy; I could hear the slur in my words, and it was clear the firewhiskey was still running strong in my system. It made my words slip out in an emotional rush.

"Why? Why would you want to do something like that?" Then I started shaking my head with short, fast jerks. A mist was lingering over my vision, making me unable to read the expression on his pale face.

"Don't kill yourself! I get, life can sometimes be a bitch, but launching yourself off the astronomy tower is not the answer, Draco! I can't believe you would even consider--"

"Shut up!" His low command came out with such harshness I nearly sobered up. Nearly. I blinked, but it was impossible to make out his features clearly when everything was spinning like a carousel.

"You're being absurd. I wasn't trying to fucking kill myself, alright? Why did you even bother following me up here anyway, you little creep?"

He was trying to change the subject.