Desired / Chanlix /

👑46👑

Hyunjin sat on the grass and watched Chan slowly turning to look at him. "Aah..." He sighed. "You're not on this ship anymore?" He asked and came closer. "But I need your help because one of them has to be alone." 

"Why do I have to help you?" Hyunjin asked him with a raised eyebrow. "You leave me on the benches. I left the team. And also, I said that I'm here only to watch the beauty from far away." 

Jisung slowly pressed his hands to his cheeks to check if they were burning. Minho watched this act with an annoyed look, seeing him red as a tomato. The jealousy in him boiled his blood. 

"I know," Chan started but bit his lip before continuing. "Who's going to be with Changbin then?" 

"Well..." Hyunjin shrugged. "I can't help you, you're the captain, Channie!" 

"Jeongin, Seungmin, and Changbin, you're going to be together." 

The training started and when he made all of the members of the team run around the court, Chan sat next to Hyunjin. His plan A was already not working, so it was time for plan B. He had to make him come back to the team because they needed him. 

"So, beauty... Is it Jisung?" Chan asked. "I know that you know about me and Felix. It's fine. And at this moment none of them can hear us."

"It's him." 

"You know that he's the second person on this planet that I would die for, right?" Chan asked him and Hyunjin nodded. Nope, he didn't, but he really wanted to know more about Jisung. "If you break him, I will kill you!" 

"I won't. I..." Hyunjin stopped. "After the fight, they had with Minho, we met at a bar and a few moments later he was drunk as fuck." He stopped again, waiting for all the running guys to pass through them so that none of them would hear their conversation. "But you know what? when I saw him like that, I wanted to be with him. To take care of him, to know if he was fine and... I wanted to be there for him and feel like a valuable person for someone." he said and looked at Jisung almost falling on the grass. One part of him was ready to run to see if he was fine, but the other part of him reminded him that this was happening almost every day on that field. 

"Do you know what I think?" Chan asked. "I think that you need to speak about your emotions more." He said and for a while, they stopped talking, because of the team. Jisung smiled looking at Hyunjin and Chan and continued running without even saying a word. Minho didn't even know what to say or what to do. He still loved him so much. 

"I was raised by homophobic parents, when they find out about me, my dad tried to kill me with pills," Hyunjin said and reached for his jacket on the grass, to take his cigarettes out and light one of them. Chan took it from his hand and looked at him. 

"You can't smoke here." He said and stood up. "Guys, there's the book that the coach gave me, I will watch over you and do the exercises. Changbin, watch over Jeongin because we don't want Seungmin on the grass underneath Jeongin's laughing ass again, right?" Changbin said 'yes' and Chan smiled. "Okay, I will be here in a while. Okay?" he asked finally and when everyone nodded or said yes, he turned to Hyunjin. "So, we can go up there and talk in private? You can also smoke there." 

When they finally sat at the tribunes, Chan gave back the cigarette to Hyunjin and smiled. 

"Actually I was expecting you to tell me that I have to stop and..." 

Chan laughed. "When I and Felix were leaving Australia I was smoking too. He made me stop them because he is scared of the chance to get cancer," he mumbled. "I would take one if you..." 

"Oh," Hyunjin chuckled. "Here." He gave his pack and his lighter to Chan and took a drag in his cigarette. "So, I saw what he was doing, he was just taking any kind of pills that has powder in it and he was just putting them in a juice." Hyunjin pressed his lips slowly to the cigarette. "But you know what? I had savings and I ran out of home." 

"And how are you now? Who's paying your school and..." 

"My scholarship," Hyunjin said. "It's enough for now. Also, my grandma's helping me, she's giving me pocket money. And she took out a loan to cover the dorms taxes." 

Chan didn't say anything. He was devastated. He didn't know what to say. He was speechless. 

"I... I'm sorry, I don't know what to say." 

"You know, everyone has a past. It's not like I'm ashamed. I just didn't want anyone to know about my sexuality, because I was scared. I'm too young to die." Hyunjin sighed and finished his cigarette. Chan gave him back the pack and the lighter and nodded. "When I met Felix I thought I like him because he's such a beautiful boy. I was mad at you and I wanted to have someone like him in my life. Someone that might light up my world just by being here. And he did this every time when we met. He was just there and he was smiling and even if he wasn't smiling, he was like a sun standing next to a stormy cloud." Hyunjin sighed. "I never knew what feels like to fall in love. When I met Jisung I didn't even think about it that way. When he came to the bar, I didn't think about it either. But when he was sleeping in my bed after he was almost drunk to death, I was worried. I needed to know what's happening with him. I needed to know if he was fine and if he needed something. That night when he was in my room and we watched the movie, he was just standing there eating pizza and watching the movie and I couldn't stop thinking about the way he was chewing the pizza, I could hear him and I was literally blessed by him." Hyunjin said and watched how Minho was trying to run faster than Jisung, but Jisung wouldn't let him. Then Jisung just fell on the grass starting to laugh. "Like, he's awkward sometimes, he says embarrassing things, he's doing some stupid things, like touching his lip for no reason, but he's the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. He makes all the butterflies in my stomach to go wild and I can't really think about him not being in my life like that." Hyunjin finally ended and smiled. He looked at Chan and waited for an answer. 

"Now you know what I feel about Felix. Our first kiss was awkward, we know each other since we were kids, and one day when we were five or six we just kissed each other in front of the kids on the playground. My mum took me home immediately. She's fine with us being a couple now,  Felix's parents too, but it's not like they were always imagining their sons being with another man." Chan whispered. "I don't know what I would do without him, but I will do anything for him."