Chasing the Suns

Carved in stone

It was another full day before we could start the slow descent. Even then, we had to stop after half a day's walk so I could rest.

Despite our gentle downward path, I found the going very difficult. My legs were stiff and heavy, and I became easily confused.

I was aware of Jjin's worry, his unsubtle concerned looks, but I had to spend all my energy on putting one foot in front of the other.

We found another cave, this one smaller, little more than an alcove in the rock. Jjin helped me into the sleeping bag, and took up a sentry position nearby.

I wanted to talk to him, to apologise for what almost happened atop the mountain, but the second I was horizontal, I was asleep.

No memories came knocking, thankfully, but my dreams were not restful. Confusing and distorted, voices called my name from all around me. I couldn't catch anything of substance. I was running, but couldn't be sure if I was running from something, or to something.

I woke, physically more rested, but emotionally exhausted.

I was able to sit up fully, unaided, unlike the day before.

I found Jjin slumped next to me, my sleeping guardian.

I was struck by his kindness. He's risked life and limb to take me to the peak, in the hopes I would realise the finality of death, and would, myself, find peace.

Admirable motivations.

They did a little to soften the blow of his dishonesty, but only a little.

I was still emotionally reeling from seeing the figure of not-quite-Ana. Having her so close, but out of reach... it was like I'd lost her all over again.

I knew if I let myself dwell on it, I'd never move on. I'd probably stay on this mountain for the rest of my life, trying to see her again.

No, I thought, the mountain people wouldn't be the only ones with farewell rituals. I would simply keep searching. Maybe the Warlox, that Delan had mentioned. They were more wayward and wild, less restrained to the rules of wider society. Maybe they would be less restrained to rules of life and death, too.

My mind began to think faster, moving one, two, four, ten steps ahead of where I was. I was interrupted by the sound of Jjin stirring.

"Morning."

He grumbled his greeting, stretching his arms as high as he could.

He looked over at me.

"I know what you're thinking."

When did I become so easy for Jjin to read? He knew my every thought, every emotion, every need, sometimes before I did.

"No, you don't."

He smiled

"I do. Because I've been there, too. You're wondering if there's another way to see her, to get her back."

"And? What if I am?"

He didn't answer, but stood, lowering a hand and hauling me up with him.

We packed in silence. I felt like something was coming, the static in the air was apprehensive, like right before rain.

My intuition was right, about ten minutes after we left the cave, Jjin steered us off the main path, down a narrow ravine that led to a smooth wall of rock.

Well, at first, it seemed smooth.

As we drew closer, I saw it was covered with etchings, words in many different languages, all carved into the stone.