suffocation | dreamnotfound

june 14th

george and dream sat on the call, everything around them quiet. it was peaceful and serene, late into the night for george while dream had watched the sun set only an hour ago. nights like these were one of their favorite times together; it loosely resembled being physically together, each person doing their own thing but looking up to share a joke or tell an occasional story. here was where they would get the most personal with each other.

however, this night was anything but peaceful for dream. he was fidgety and restless, anxiety taking over his body as he thought about what would soon unfold. today would be the last late night call. today would be the last day dream talked to george at all. dream was leaving the internet tonight.

he had informed the rest of his friends earlier in the day, requesting that they say nothing. in a week from this day, his final video would go up; his thank you and goodbye. dream didn't even know if he'd be alive to see it, as he had scheduled the video much in advance. he didn't want any word getting out before then and causing a further panic.

telling sapnap and bad his true goodbye's was one of the hardest things dream had done. the three sat sniffling and in agony as dream explained that he was leaving the internet. feeling as though bad deserved to know, dream even told him why.

bad's heart broke for one of his best friends. he was never expecting a goodbye like this and never thought that dream would be taken away due to love. it hit bad hard, nearly sending the boy into a full on breakdown as dream tried to reassure him. sapnap didn't even know what to say to help, so he stayed quiet. the sudden distressing news left bad speechless for what felt like hours before the three boys told each other how much they cared for one another. when dream left the call, life had begun to slip into an inbetween, where this reality suddenly felt real but at the same time, it was like something out of a nightmare. dream had been like a ghost since.

now here dream was, unprepared for a second confrontation all within the same day. he didn't even know how to approach the conversation. short and sweet? cold, harsh, and quick?

how do you leave someone you wanted to spend forever with?

dream muted and went to cough up his flowers tinted red, looking at his bloodshot eyes and shaky hands. it was death or life without love. dream had made his choice long ago. everything he did, he did with george in his mind.

he cleared his throat and then unmuted, his tongue tied before he began to speak.

"george..." dream began slowly, the name nothing more than an exhale of air. "i have to tell you something important."

"i'm listening." george leaned forward in his chair, clasping his hands together.

"i'm leaving the internet."

"what do you mean, 'leaving the internet', what does that mean?" george's voice shook, clear discomfort and bewilderment lacing his voice as he repeated the question multiple times. george knew that dream had gotten a lot of hate on the internet, but was quitting youtube really what he wanted? for years this had been his passion; it had to have been something deeper.

"i mean that i'm going to stop uploading on youtube. i'm going to delete twitter and instagram. i'm leaving discord and am not using teamspeak again." dream took a breath, pain ricocheting through his chest as he prepared his next words. "i'm deleting all the phone numbers i have from you guys. when i say i'm leaving, i mean that fully."

"clay, you're joking. this is a prank right? well it's not very funny. just stop, it's scaring me."

"please don't contact me again. i need a break from this world. you won't hear from me again when i hang up this call, i'm serious."

confusion clouded george's brain. none of this made sense. "do you expect me to just let you leave? i could just fly to florida and come to your house, i have your address from sending you merch. i will, i will do it."

on the other side of the call was a crash, as the glass cup dream set on his desk shattered as he threw it to the ground in frustration. why did george have to make it more painful than it already was?

"god, george, please just listen to me. i need to leave. it hurts to leave you behind, but...it's better for me."

"your life is better without me in it? you could leave the internet and still talk to me, you know that right. what about sapnap and bad, too?"

"i'm deleting all of your numbers."

"why?" george's voice wavered as he asked the question. this was his biggest fear; getting close to someone just for them to leave when he felt comfortable. dream was his closest confidant; now, once again, it felt like george would have no one. he would surely return back to his life of solitude, because if he left everyone else like dream did, they couldn't leave him. it would hurt less that way.

dream obviously refused to tell george why, going silent on the boy. in his mind, there was nothing worse than george finding out he died and how. he couldn't bare leaving the earth if he knew george found out about his illness and blamed himself. he knew george would villainize himself until he was a shell of the happy person he was prior to that. that would be like dying twice. all dream wanted was for george to be happy.

"clay?"

"i'm really sorry i have to leave." dream was gripping his desk so hard his knuckles had done white.

"you don't have to leave. nothing is forcing you to."

once again, george was met with silence. they paired together well with the silent tears running down his face.

"you're my best friend clay, please stay with me. don't leave me alone, i'm begging."

dream stiffened at the words, his world spinning. "that's the issue: i can't be your best friend anymore." there was venom in the words 'best friend', though george had no clue where to begin if he wanted to find out why.

before george could say anything, dream started coughing violently. it was time to wrap this up.

"thank you for memories i will cherish forever. i love you george," dream choked out between coughs. and then all george saw were the words 'call ended' flash across his screen.

the words "i love you too" laid dead on his lips. george would never get an opportunity to tell dream that.

all george wanted was his best friend.

best.

friend.

~~

back in florida, dream was grasping at his throat, trying to remember how to breathe. blood splattered the bathroom tiles around him as he fought against the disease inside of him. he grabbed his phone, trying to dial his parents for help.

dream's world was swaying, a mess of vibrant colors and bright lights. nothing was in focus. he let himself slide down the tiled wall, too weak to support himself. his face was blotchy and blue.

sitting against the wall, dream let his eyes flutter shut while his mom's voice was heard yelling his name on the phone.