Vital Signs
  • Reads 9,391
  • Votes 928
  • Parts 36
  • Time 4h 42m
  • Reads 9,391
  • Votes 928
  • Parts 36
  • Time 4h 42m
Complete, First published May 16, 2019
Phil's wife, Megan, and his daughter, Jilly-bean, are the reasons he gets up bright and early every morning, puts on a suit and tie, and sits in rush hour traffic on his way to a job that has become unbearable. For years, the only way he's managed to get through his workday has been by secretly exchanging an absurd photo of a monkey walking a dog with his wife, hiding it in her purse, or finding it tucked into his briefcase.

At work, Phil becomes the point person for the firm's biggest client, Trollamex, a multi-national chemical manufacturer. He's tasked with hiding its deceptive practices and helping the company to dodge its accountability for ruining the lives of thousands of customers. Nearing his breaking point, Phil brings his concerns to his boss, Carl who tells Phil in barely decipherable corporate-speak that he's being overly-dramatic. When the situation escalates, Phil suffers a meltdown, jumps into his car, and takes off on a two-day road-trip where he is thrown out of a club for dancing so badly they think he's drunk, is nearly beaten to a pulp by two guys at a restaurant who call Phil a communist for not taking his kid to Disneyworld, and faces jail time when a raccoon pilfering Cheez-It's in his car attacks a police officer.

When he finds the monkey/dog photo in his pocket he experiences a moment of clarity. Phil realizes that he must go home to the family he loves, quit his job, and find a way to take on Trollamex.

"Vital Signs" is a cautionary tale of one man's odyssey in search of his humanity and the dangers of running off-leash.
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41 parts Ongoing

In a world filled with superhumans, the powerless charlie cycle struggles to keep his life together. It only gets worse when on his way home hes pulled into a choke hold and shot. But instead of dying, his life was saved by the sentient living slime who holds a few.... secrets. When charlie finds out about said gooper, The slime gives the excuse that, they cant leave Charlie's body yet, since, he still isnt fully healed from the bullet wound. Being to tired to argue, he puts up with the slime for the next few months. In which time, the slime was able to convince him to go out for one night as a vigilante, just to try it :) unfortunately, that one night led to a run in with the most dangerous villains in the city, the syndicate. Causing him to get roped into the syndicates plan to take over the government. Although things only get worse when he finds out the syndicates number one target, is his childhood best friend jschlatt, who charlie lost contact with once he got into the presidency. Things only get worse and worse over time as he gets more and more involved with this anarchist scheme. Chaos ensues Along with....other, plots of revenge. (TW) -Death- -Blood- -extreme gore/mutilation- (very little) -suicide- (very little) -derealization- -dissociation- -murder- -alcohol- -manipulation- WORD COUNT: 203,836 Sunny Anderson school is credit to @memoryboy. including many aspects of this story that have been influenced and sometimes even copied from certian fics (though I try my best to make it original), such as Tommyinnits clinic for supervillians, Tommy's ultra important Keychain, and possibly a couple others that I can't remember. All these details have been improvised to fit the plot, and or, are relatively small such as; character names, character interactions, character aspects such as powers, some concepts for fights/battles that characters may get into. . . . #1 slimecicle jan. 18 2023 #9 superhero Aug. 28 2023 #1 slimecicle jul. 31 2024