Death is a jerk, how do I know that? He's my roommate Death is a jerk but not in the way you would think though. He doesn't just pop out of nowhere and randomly kill people for fun. He's more like the type of guy who'll take your, clearly marked, Chinese leftovers in the fridge and eat them in front of you. How do I know this? Death is my roommate. Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking I must be some kind of angel or demon (depending on if you think he lives in heaven or hell) but I'm not. My name is Sam Callister and I'm a struggling college student and totally human. He makes sure to keep reminding me.