Shmaa

If plan 'a' didn't work relax there are still another 25 letters of the alphabet

Hey humans I'm Shmaa the awesome Frogga
Want me to read something just send me the link
Want me to make a cover send me a message 
Want to talk well then talk for goodness sake I aint stoppin ya
Anyway back to business
For some reason you are stalking my profile
Correct is it
And you just won't stop reading this will ya 
And then eventually you'll reach the bottom
No don't look at the bottom
Did you look at the bottom
Wait what am I even saying
Oh yeah
Stop stalking me coz well I don't think I have enough info in this to really tell you anything about me 
So it is pretty pointless.

Joke time
Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket
A: Is that you coughin

During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall"

Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you
Student: Meat
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you
Student: Bacon
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you
Student: Homework

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth then it's a soap opera

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that

You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart

Q: Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees
A:Because they’re really good at it

A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a chair

Q: Why did the child get excited after finishing the puzzle in 6 months
A: The box said 2-4 years

Q: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it
A: Nothing

Q: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I
A: Candle