Misplaced Love

C.18- Not Over, Never Over

Back at the beach house, everyone else was busy helping Luigi and Bryant for their barbeque for dinner later that night. While the others were out at the beach enjoying the cold breeze of the night, drinking their beers. Violet was by the sand dunes, far from everyone's merriment, still thinking about Lucas. 

"Hey, I thought you would want some beer." Joana came and handed her a beer, Violet thanked her and Joana smiled before sitting down beside her. 

"It looked pretty intense, you and Lucas awhile ago." Joana sounded worried. 

Violet took a deep breath, "Yeah, it was. I discovered so many things today, and I guess that was sort of our closure?  But I know we aren't finished." 

Joana glanced at her friend, she knew how broken Lucas was in all the five years that Violet was gone. She'd be lying if she said she was happy when she found out she'd be back for Pat's wedding, but it was mostly because of the fact that she didn't want to see Lucas getting hurt all over again. She knew something of this sort would happen and that it wouldn't stop there. And it wasn't just him that suffered, but their friends and families as well. 

"I mean you can't blame him, Vi. What you did to him.. to all of us. It just-- it doesn't make sense." 

Violet sighed, feeling the weight of the consequences of her actions only today. "I was only focused on keeping everyone safe, I thought I was doing the right thing, and then-- in the end, I loved him, all his imperfections included."

"I know.  I know you were thinking you were doing the right thing. But you hurt us so much." She took a swig at her beer. "How can you love someone like Anton, when Lucas loved you more than he ever could." 

Violet couldn't answer as she drank her beer. 

"I don't think Lucas ever got over you, I don't think he ever will. You were such a big part in his life that when you left, you took a part of him. Something that Monique is trying to get back-- but she knows, she knows you're the only one who will ever hold that part of him." 

"Jo, I don't know what to do, maybe going back was a bad idea, maybe I should go back to Paris and pretend none of this ever happened I cou--" 

"You are the most selfish person I've ever met. Do you know that? How fucking insensitive are you? Why can't you accept the fact that you've hurt people instead of riding on that high horse of yours thinking you've had it worse than all of us because you went off and married that fucking monster? And now that people are telling you how fucked your choice was, you have the audacity to run away?" 

Joana was fuming with anger at how Violet was handling everything. What a fucking coward. 

"I'm hurting everyone, I know that, I did so much shit to you guys and believe me when I say that no one hates me for what I did more than myself. My old self. I kick myself everyday, okay? I don't know how to make things right." 

Pat was walking towards Joana and Violet when she heard what they were talking about. 

"You will not go anywhere until you fix this." Pat answered from behind them. 

"This is not something that you can get away with on a technicality, we will be facing this as adults, talking as adults. You will not go home until you've fixed this, Violet. You owe us." 

Violet looked behind her, shocked at the words that was silently bugging her at the back of her mind but one that she would never say out loud, Pat always knew what she was thinking.

"I know you, you think its unfixable and that we don't want you to be sorry or make it up to us. But did you think I would send you our wedding invitation if I knew we didn't want you here?" 

"Lucas and I talked awhile ago, at the venue-- which was really beautiful by the way." She smiled looking up at her best friend. "We cried." 

Pat looked puzzled. "You cried because of the venue? Crazies." 

Violet chuckled lightly. "No dummy, we cried when we talked." 

The two girls chuckled as well. "How'd you feel?" Pat asked as she sat down in front of them. 

Violet shrugged, "I still haven't thought about it as much. But I just realized how all my feelings from five years ago never went away, they were just.. buried. Like, maybe I was just distracted with everything. I mean I'm not saying I don't love Anton, because I do. But, maybe I have to deal with my feelings for Lucas too."

"I still cannot believe you love Anton. What kind of twisted shit is that?" Pat remarked. "He's not even that cute."

Joana rolled her eyes. "Yeah, because he's hot." She joked laughing. 

"Okay, fine he's hot, but god he was such an ass and you of all people know that. You've been through so much with him. All the dark days that Lucas made brighter." 

"I owe him so much, and before Jo called us, he asked me why I didn't choose him, why I didn't choose us." Violet felt her heart clench when she hears those words echo in her mind, how heartbreaking it was to hear it from Lucas. How the pain he felt was heard in the way he uttered those words. 

"God, you two are just a movie waiting to happen, huh?" Pat joked. "My brother still has feelings for you, no matter what he says about Monique, and I know you feel the same way. I know it's going to get complicated from here. But, whatever you both decide, we're still gonna be here for you, no matter what."

Violet nodded, smiling at the two girls who have been by her side through all the worst days and best days of her life. She couldn't have been this way if it wasn't for Joana and Patricia. 

The two girls got up and left, knowing that Violet needed some time alone before she has to talk to Lucas again. 

Violet was left alone, listening to the waves of the ocean, feeling the soft breeze of the night as the sun sets, she pulled her knees close to her chest, feeling the silence and letting her thoughts consume her. 

~~

Lucas was feeling like he was hit by a thousand bricks, he couldn't let go of the heavy feeling on his chest, he couldn't ignore the ache in his heart, he finally asked Violet the question he's been waiting to ask for the last five years. Their conversation may have been cut short, but he knew keeping them safe wasn't the only reason why she decided to go away and be with Anton. He knew there was more to it.

He kept thinking about all the memories he had with her, the good, the bad and the ugly, in the end they would always be happy, choosing each other and loving each other, he didn't know where it went wrong.

Before he knew it he was standing behind Violet, who was too captivated by the waves and the sound of the ocean that she didn't even realize that someone was behind her.

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