Misplaced Love

C. 19- Violets and Whys

Lucas took a sip of his drink and sat down beside her, "We still need to talk you know," he glanced at her surprised face and smiled. "I miss annoying you, Vi. I miss your smile, the smile that you only had for me, I miss the way you loved me. I miss loving you." He sighed as he looked away from her, not wanting to see her expression, not wanting to see if she didn't feel the same way.

She sighed deeply, she felt the same, she always has. "You know, I never stopped missing you, even if you're in front of me right now, I still miss you. You were everything to me Lucas, but so much has changed between us, and if we decide to choose each other, what about Anton? What about Monique? What would they feel? We can't be selfish."

This time he turned to look at her, annoyed. "The only person who's selfish here is you, Violet. You walked away on us, you put us in this situation, if you loved me at all why the hell did you choose to leave me? Why didn't you choose to fight for us? Why didn't you give us a chance? Why the fuck would you break me and have someone else fix me when all I needed was you?"

Violet was shocked at his words, she never saw this coming, she never expected that he'd still feel this way after all those years. She couldn't say a word as tears rolled down her eyes.

Lucas kept talking, "I was supposed to propose to Monique."

Shocked by his words, Violet asked, "Supposed to? Why didn't you?"

"Because I found out you were coming back, because I don't know, I knew I still loved you, and if there is any chance for me to get you back, even a slight chance at all, I'd take it and try, because I will never let you slip away from me again."

"Luc--"

"I know what you're gonna say, I know you love Anton, but I know that you know that you love me too, and I want you to fight for us, because you owe it to me to fight for us. You never gave me a chance to love you, I was supposed to love you Vi, not him. I was supposed to wake up with you in my arms every day and thank God for having you as my wife. I know I have Monique, but at the airport," He took a deep breath, "She knew I still love you, that I never stopped even when I was with her, she saw it in my eyes when I looked at you, and she told me if she came back and you didn't get back together with me, she'd smack you." He said chuckling lightly.

"You and Monique broke up?"

"Yeah dummy weren't you listening?"

Violet smiled at him, but it quickly fell when she realized she's still married to Anton, and she loves Anton.

"You have to tell me why you left in the first place, because it still doesn't make sense."

Violet sighed and stood up holding her hand out to Lucas. "Let's go for a walk, yeah?"

Lucas took her hand, like it was his favorite thing to do, but actually, it's his second favorite, first one are her kisses, he thought to himself as they walked slowly away from the house.

Violet was deciding whether she should let go of his hand or not, but his hand on hers felt like home, so she didn't let go.

"To be honest, I don't have a good reason that would justify what you went through-- what everyone went through, because I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought I was showing you how much I love you by sacrificing myself--"

Lucas stopped walking, pulling Violet's hand backwards, "What? Like you're Jesus or something?"

She laughed, "No! Dummy, I just, I don't know, at the time, I thought being with him would be good for everyone, but I never expected myself to love him, I tried so hard not to, believe me. But Anton, he was so sweet, loving and patient. We had so much history that when I thought about leaving to come back home, I just, I couldn't. But I knew I still loved you, but I also loved him." Violet sighed, "Oh gosh I sound like such a player, I sound like Bella from Twilight, having to choose between Edward and Jacob-- whom she both loved. Actually, I watched Twilight saga like a million times, I relate to Bella so much, like ohmygod, same girl, it's so hard having choose between the one you love and your soulmate like I can't even--"

Lucas put his hand on her mouth to shut her up as he laughed at her rambling on about Twilight. "Geez Violet, some things never do change, you still have a big mouth when you get nervous."

Violet rolled her eyes at him as she licked his palm, which made him pull his hand away. "Ew, Violet."

"Bro, you can't shut me up, ok so Twilight, anyway, as I was saying, you know I just I relate to it so much, I feel like I'm in my own movie now and having to choose whether I'm team Anton or team Lucas and--"

Lucas rubbed his face and sighed, "Oh dear sweet baby jelly beans, WOMAN STOP TALKING."

Violet chuckled as she looked at her old lover, like they were back to when they were in high school. "I'm sorry, I blab when--"

"When I'm nervous, I know, I know." He rolled his eyes, smiling at her.

"Luc, I love Anton. You have to know that. And what happened with us, it was the most beautiful love I've ever had and nothing with Anton can change that. But us-- it feels like worlds ago, and I just.. I love you and I want you to be happy, but I don't want us back together just because we have a history."

"Do you hear yourself? You had a history with Anton too, heck he fucking got you pregnant and killed the baby inside you, even if it wasn't intentional. He hurt you so much, forced you into a marriage, and got you to leave your family and I for more than 5 years, why the hell would you stay for that? Why are you choosing him?"

Violet sighed, thinking about all the whys that Lucas has asked her since yesterday, she has no answer for his questions, she doesn't know why she loves Anton, why she stayed for so long, why she became happy with a man who has caused her so much pain.

Ashton would be so mad at her if he knew her poor life choices.

She smiled sadly, "You know, I know Ashton wouldn't be happy if found out how I turned out. He'd be so disappointed and would have dragged my ass back here the minute I left for Paris with Anton."

"You bet your ass he will." Lucas answered as he looked up at the bright sky, "I wish he were here right now, he'd know exactly what to say to put some sense into you. I'm not asking you to choose me right now, or to decide on anything. But please, just, your life is here, with me, with your family, and if Anton really loves you like he said he does, then he would have wanted you to be happy."

"Luc, you may find this hard to believe, but he's been trying everyday to make up for everything he put me through, he courts me everyday, makes me feel special, apologizing all the time. He's a changed man, and I've watched him become one, he makes me happy."

Lucas took a long chug of his beer before looking out to the sea, "Okay, I know this is too much for you, and I just, for now, maybe we could go back to how we were before, I mean, we were friends, even though I knew you had a crush on me the first time you saw me." He teased.

Violet rolled her eyes at him, "We can be friends, and I know you had a crush on me first, everyone does, I'm pretty like that."

"I won't give up on us you know."

"I know."

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